Title: Taking A Chance On Love
Author: Gileswench

(notes and disclaimer with part one)

Over the course of the next two weeks, Buffy made four more abortive attempts to break up with Riley. Every time she thought she'd worked up the courage, he would do something that made it impossible to break his heart right then.

As for spending time with Giles...that was becoming more and more difficult, too. She caught him several times looking at her with a hurt expression that disappeared the instant he was aware of her attention. Between the two men in her life, she was going up a wall.

And so she sat one day at the tarot table in the Magic Box being drilled in Latin vocabulary by Willow. She knew she should be paying more attention, but Giles was shelving books across the room and had removed his jacket. Somehow, Buffy couldn't take her eyes off him. He handled the books so gently, with so much care. His shoulders were wide, strong-looking. Then there was that world-class butt. Definitely sigh-worthy. Even the way the ends of his hair curled against the nape of his neck made her want to smooth them.

"Buffy!"

"Huh?" She turned her attention back to Willow. "What?"

"Audi alteram partem. What does it mean?" she repeated for what was clearly at least the third time.

"Um...disguising the parts of a stolen practical mid-size sedan so the cops don't recognize it?"

"It means to hear the other side." Willow shot a disgusted look at her friend. "Come on, Buffy. It isn't this hard. You knew it last week."

"I know. I'm sorry, Will. I just...I can't seem to concentrate today."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"Not here."

"Espressos at the pump they come from?"

"Let's."

The two girls gathered up their books.

"Giles?" Willow called, "we're gone."

"Already?" he asked. "I thought you might stay longer."

"I may be back," Buffy said quickly. "I wanted to get in some hand-to-hand, if I could. Is that okay?"

"Yes, yes, of course." Giles' smile lit his entire face. "I'll be here for some time."

"Great. Later, then."

"I thought you told Xander you had a date with Riley," Anya called from behind the counter.

"Yeah. I do." Buffy failed to meet Giles' eyes. She didn't want to see the disappointment. "But I don't expect it to last long."

"Are you finally breaking up with him?" The ex-demon persisted. "Xander and I are tired of pretending we don't know what's wrong with you."

"What do you mean?"

"Riley came to ask us if we knew why you were acting so strangely. If you don't take care of it soon, I'm going to tell him."

"You - Anya?" Giles sputtered as the bell above the door jangled, unheeded. "Buffy, does everyone know you're leaving Riley except Riley?"

"Leaving...?"

Everyone looked up to see exactly the person they least wanted to see. Buffy's face went pale.

"Is it true?" Riley asked.

"I think I'm gonna...go now," Willow said as she sidled nervously to the door. "Bye!"

"Yes," Giles said. "Um...Anya, I think there's...um...s-something that needs doing in the back. Buffy, you'll call us if we're needed, yes?"

With that, Giles pushed his assistant into the stockroom, leaving Buffy and Riley alone in the middle of the shop.

"When were you planning to say anything?"

Buffy turned her eyes to the floor and twisted her fingers miserably. She couldn't seem to find the words to explain or defend herself.

"I'm sorry," she managed at last. "I didn't mean you to hear it like this."

"Obviously not."

"I'm so, so sorry, Riley." She swallowed past the lump in her throat. "I was going to tell you. I've been trying."

"How long?" His voice sounded strained. "Is it really that bad being with me?"

"No, no, it's not like that. You have to believe me. It's not you. It's me. I just...I'm not in love with you."

"Buffy, I know you've been hurt. I can wait."

"Until Hell freezes over?" she asked sharply. "'Cause that's about when it's gonna happen." She wrapped her arms around her middle and looked back down at the floor. "I'm sorry. It's not that you're not a great guy. But I can't make my heart feel something it's not going to. You didn't do anything wrong, and you're a really, really nice person, but you're not the guy for me. I'm sorry. You were looking for the forever girl, and I only had it in me to be with rebound guy. Now it needs to end before we hurt each other too badly."

"I don't believe this," Riley said in a hollow voice as he slid into a chair at the tarot table. "I gave up everything for you, Buffy. Everything. My career, the army...all of it."

"You gave it up because it was the right thing to do, because what was happening there was hurting innocent people," she told him with a small shrug. "You made the choice. I just happened to be there at the time."

"Tell me this isn't the end. Tell me there's still a chance for us."

"I'm sorry. I can't lie to you, anymore."

Riley's jaw worked. When he spoke again, his voice was tight.

"There's someone else, isn't there? Is that what this is about?"

"Riley...don't."

"Is it Angel?"

"No." She sat beside him. "Why can't you just accept that this isn't going to work, whether there's anyone else or not?"

"Why can't you say it isn't about someone else?"

"Would it really make you feel better if there was another guy?"

"Yes...I mean no...I mean...at least I could sort of understand that. Please tell me it's not Xander."

"Okay, it's not Xander," Buffy parroted obediently. Then she spoke more sincerely. "It really isn't Xander. It's that I don't love you, but you love me. That's nothing but a recipe for badness."

"Why didn't you say anything before now? Maybe we could have made it work if you'd said something."

"We never could talk, could we?" she snorted. "Not when it came to the big stuff."

"I thought we didn't need to. Guess I was wrong."

"Yeah. I guess so." She smiled ruefully at him. "I never meant to hurt you."

"I never meant to get hurt." He stood. "Too bad things don't always turn out the way you mean."

"For what it's worth," she said, "I'm sorry."

"Yeah. Me, too." He turned for the door. Just as he got there, he turned back. "But if you ever change your mind...you know where to find me."

As soon as he was out the door, Buffy blew out a deep breath, ran her hands through her hair, and slumped over the table.

"God, I hate breakups," she muttered miserably.

"Ice cream?"

Buffy looked up at Giles where he stood leaning in the doorway with his hands in his pockets. She shook her head.

"How do you do that? How could you know exactly when to be standing there?"

"Watcher radar. We're trained from infancy," he said. "Come on. Something in chocolate, I assume?"

"With whipped cream?"

"And sprinkles. And a cherry on top."

"More Watcher radar?"

"No, actually, I remember from the last big breakup. As I recall, Angel's departure cost me a hot fudge sundae with a horrific number and variety of toppings." He smiled sympathetically at her. "I know this wasn't easy to do, but it's for the best, really."

"Yeah, I know. But chocolate's still on the menu. And I want it gooey."

He held the door open for her, then followed Buffy into the street.

*****

Half an hour later, the two sat in the ice cream parlor. Giles watched Buffy toy with her sundae. She'd eaten heartily in the beginning, but slowed at the halfway point. Now the final quarter was in danger of melting into unappetizing goo before she finished.

"Buffy?" Giles said softly. "Are you ready to talk?"

"No. But I'm ready to hurl. I don't think I can eat as much ice cream as I used to." She speared the mess with her spoon and sat back in her chair, rubbing her overfull stomach. "Food is no longer therapeutic. Think that means I'm all grown up now?"

"I think it means you had a large lunch," he said dryly. "Food is still therapeutic to me, I'll have you know."

"Oh yeah?"

"Definitely. My last breakup required a very large pork pie, mushy peas, and two pints of Guinness. It helped."

Buffy ducked her head and looked miserable.

"I didn't mean for anything to happen to her," she said in a tiny, shaky voice. "I didn't want anyone hurt."

"Hurt...? Whatever are you talking about? Nothing happened to Olivia."

"O-Olivia?" Buffy raised her head in astonishment. "I thought we were talking about...before her. Aren't you still with Olivia?"

"What on Earth gave you that impression?"

"Maybe the fact that you never said she wasn't coming back?"

"I thought you lot might have used your eyes and massive brain power to figure it out by now," he snorted. "When was the last time you saw her?"

Buffy thought for a moment. Her brow furrowed in concentration. At last, she looked at him again.

"You mean she's been gone since that whole thing with the creepy voice-stealing nasties? That long? And you didn't tell any of us?"

"I didn't feel it was any of your business."

"Not my business?" Buffy no longer cared that her voice was rising. So was her body. "Everything about you is my business, Giles!"

"Buffy, calm down..."

"No. I thought we...I thought at least we were friends. Friends don't hide girlfriends - or breakups - from friends. I would have bought you ice cream - or whatever you wanted - when it happened if you'd just let me know about it. You...you...big dummy!"

He stood without another word, took her elbow, and steered her out of the ice cream parlor. His cheeks reddened. Every eye in the place was on them. Giles didn't stop moving until he got to where his car was parked.

"Get in," he barked.

It was so rare that Giles got truly angry at her that all the steam left Buffy as soon as he grabbed her arm. She meekly followed orders. Giles came around to the driver's side, got in, buckled his seat belt and started the engine.

He stopped the car in front of his apartment building, and got out. Without waiting for Buffy to follow, he headed for his home in long-legged strides. To his rear, he could hear her scrambling to catch up, but made no move to slow down. Only when he reached the door did he wait for her. As soon as they were both safely inside, he crossed his arms over his chest and turned to her.

"What was that performance?" he demanded.

"What about your encore?" she retorted, matching both his stance and tone. "You didn't ever tell me when Olivia left. You shouldn't have kept that a secret."

"Do you really want to talk about keeping things secret?"

"Okay! I know I didn't tell you about Angel when he got back. Bad Buffy! But all of you would have just staked him first and wondered why he was back later. That wouldn't have been fair. And I know I totally spaced and didn't tell you about Riley when we first started going out. But it wasn't like you were listening to me when I did tell you stuff then, Mr. Go-Away-And-Let-Me-Have-Sex-With-A-Supermodel!"

"Oh, I wonder why I didn't feel much like dealing with your disgust at that? I'll have you know, some women - even some young ones - find me neither old nor gross. And if you can't behave in a mature manner when you find I do have some semblance of a personal life, I don't think I can be blamed for not wanting to tell you all the details in order to be laughed at."

"Laughed at? Laughed at? God! Can't you even recognize jealousy when you see it?"

"Jealousy? What? That I was having sex and you weren't?"

"No! That you were having sex and it wasn't with me!"

Both combatants stood stock still for an endless moment. Their poses matched perfectly - hands on hips, chins jutted forward, eyes narrowed in anger. Giles was the first to blink. He straightened and pulled off his glasses.

"You...you...what?"

Buffy groaned and covered her face as she sank down onto the couch. She couldn't look at him. It seemed like forever before she felt the cushion next to her flatten under Giles' weight.

"Buffy...I never knew. How could I? How long have you felt this way?"

"A long time," she admitted in a small voice. "I'm not sure when it started. Maybe at the Prom. Maybe when you blew up the library for me, maybe a little later...I can't really say. And now I wish the Hellmouth would just open up and swallow me whole!"

"Why?"

"Because I'm embarrassed! And now you're gonna get all stuffy and repressed and not be able to look me in the eye and everything will get freaky...and it's all my fault for falling in love with you."

Giles felt the breath whoosh out of his lungs, but he couldn't quite figure out how to refill them. Before he could recover himself, she was gone.

She left so quickly, she didn't even shut the door behind her.