Author: Gileswench
Pairing: Buffy/Giles, some B/Riley early on.
Rating: FRAO for smut, smut, smut, smut, smut
Category: Romance, smut
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. Praise abjectly sought.
Spoilers: Through S4, but set in sort of a generally alternate S5. Magic Box yes, Dawn and Glory...not so much. Giles has a car, but which one, I leave up to you.
Distribution: If you've had my permission in the past, you have it now. All others, ask and ye shall receive.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., etc. I just let them have all the fun Joss won't. I own nothing except my twisted mind which you really don't want. Please don't sue.
Summary: Buffy's feelings have changed...but what about Giles?
Warning: Despite the fact that Riley is in this story and it's a B/G fic, and despite the fact that Riley and Buffy are together at the beginning of this story, but not at the end, there is NO Riley bashing in this fic. I repeat, Riley is present but NOT bashed. We don't have to be mean to any character in order to get our fave couple together.
Notes: This one comes to you courtesy of Beadtific's challenge on the allthejellies B/G smutathon. Here's what she asked for:
Season: Any after 18th bday
3 Requests: Buffy mangles a latin phase and gives it a whole new meaning, (i.e.thinks the latin way to say 'holy mackerel' is 'carpe diem.' You get to pick the phrase. Someone quotes the Bugs Bunny/Looney Tunes famous line "You do realize - this means war." a tango
1 Restriction: B/G instantly jumping into bed - give me some tension!
Dedication: To Beadific for the fun challenge. Here's hoping there's enough tension for you
Buffy lay on her bed, her face nearly invisible among the pile of pillows.
"I can't believe it," she groaned.
"Is it really so bad?" Willow asked timidly. "I mean...okay, unexpected, yeah, but not bad, really. Right?"
"Not bad?" Buffy raised her head to glare at her friend. "Not bad that I'm having naughty sexy thoughts about my Watcher? I'm supposed to be having naughty sexy thoughts about Riley. Remember Riley? Hunky, cute boyfriend? Is any of this ringing a bell?"
"I'm not the one to tell you about right and wrongness of feelings, Buff. I'm the one who blew up her own closet." She smiled ruefully. "Anyway, you should know as well as I do that it's very possible to have sexy thoughts about more than one person at the same time. And that's not such a bad thing, either, as long as you don't have sexy actions, too. Can't you just enjoy the Giles scenery and then have smoochies with Riley?"
"Okay, this is not how this conversation played out in my brain, Will," Buffy said. She sat up and rested her chin on her hand. "You were supposed to remind me why it's bad of me to think about Giles this way, not tell me to ogle him and then go jump my boyfriend."
"What was I supposed to say? 'Cause I didn't get the script."
"You were supposed to say that this is bad and...and wrong...and possibly illegal in twenty-seven states."
"Should I tell you to stop ogling George Clooney?" the redhead laughed. "I just want to make sure I know, in case you ask."
"It's not funny, Willow!"
"It isn't? I mean, no, it isn't," she corrected herself. "Not funny at all. I'm not laughing. See? Serious face." She pointed to her now sober expression. "But I still don't see what the big is. Sometimes someone you know just looks real nice. And you've been spending a lot of time with Giles, lately, doing all the real intense Slayer stuff. That could be part of it. If you get a little crush for a bit, that's not anything horrible."
See...that's the thing," Buffy said. "It's not so little, and it's not for a bit. It's been for a while, now. Kind of a long time, actually."
"And...big?"
"The biggest." She hesitated a moment before continuing. "It's like...it's like I'm more alive around him. All I want to do is make him happy, make him smile."
"What about Riley? How do you feel around him?"
"Riley's...he's a nice guy. There's no two ways around it. He's sweet, and he's cute, and he's definitely on the side of goodness and niceness..." She trailed off miserably.
"Buffy? Do you want to know what I think?"
"Sorta why I asked."
"I think you're not doing anyone any favors by not saying something to Riley or Giles, if that's how you feel." She scooted closer to her friend and smiled ruefully. "You have to say something."
"And I have to do something I'm not looking forward to," Buffy sighed. "Riley's not gonna like this. I never meant to hurt him."
"If you're honest, it's okay," Willow said. "If you don't want to be with him, you shouldn't try to be with him because he wants you to."
"The worst of it is, that's what I said at first. Then he just...he kept being there, wanting me, and I sort of thought...maybe he was right. Maybe I was saying no because I was scared. After Angel and Parker, y'know? 'Cause I got hurt pretty bad, twice in a row. Now I'm starting to think it was my gut, and maybe I should have listened to it a little harder. Does that make sense?"
"I think guts make a lot of sense, when you can figure out what they're saying. Too bad they don't always speak English."
"So, you think I should break up with Riley and go for the Giles gusto?"
"I think you should break up with Riley, if you're not committed to him, 'cause he's pretty darn committed to you. As for carpeing Giles...it might be a good idea to wait a while and see if your gut's telling you what you think it is. If it's speaking Swahili, this could get real embarrassing real quick."
"You're telling me? And what if I feel this way, but Giles doesn't? That could get sort of horrible," Buffy grimaced. "Are you sure this is the right thing to do, Will? I mean, Riley's nice, and he's a lot of fun. And it's not like he's being harmed in the making of this film, is it?"
"I think the sixty-four thousand dollar question is: do you love Riley?"
"I...like him. A lot. But love?" Buffy shook her head sadly. "I can't lie to myself about this anymore. I don't. It's funny, the only person I ever told I loved Riley was Angel, and that was because we were working overtime to hurt each other. I think even he knew it was a lie. God! This isn't even going to shock anyone but Riley, is it?"
"Anya was talking about making book on when you guys would call it quits." Willow snorted. "Now I can't even get in on the action, 'cause of the inside information."
"What odds is she taking?" She lifted her hands quickly. "No, wait. Don't tell me. I guess there's no way I can profit off of this, either. I could really use the money, too. A demon slimed my best boots last week."
"I was gonna spend my winnings on textbooks."
"Yeah, but I need to tempt a new guy. You've got a steady honey. I can get my mom to buy books. Or I can just copy your notes."
"You really need to work on your schoolwork ethic, Buff," Willow chastised her friend. "If nothing else, Giles will be impressed."
"You hit below the belt," Buffy pouted. "Way below the belt."
"Whenever possible."
Willow yelped when Buffy hit her with a pillow.
*****
That night, Buffy had a date with Riley. She decided,
after her talk with Willow, that she would sit him
down when he came to pick her up and break things off
in a mature, responsible manner. It was the right
thing to do. The grownup thing. There was no reason to
prolong the misery. The decision was made. Time to
carry out her plan.
But when he showed up, Riley was carrying a bouquet of daisies, and he smiled brightly as he spoke.
"I got us reservations at Gaston's," he said. "Then I thought we could see a movie, if you wanted. Or we could just go back to my place."
"Gaston's? Are you sure you can afford that?" Buffy gulped. "Mom got to go there once, but a client was paying. She still makes little moany sounds when she talks about that lunch."
"Nothing but the best for my girl. Don't worry about it. I want to spoil you a little tonight."
"Okay...spoiling...yes, you're doing that...I just...Riley, I don't know how to say this..."
"Then don't say anything. Just sit back and enjoy the night."
Buffy opened her mouth again, but somehow words refused to come out. Riley was being so sweet. And while she knew it was terribly shallow of her, she really wanted to find out if Gaston's was as good as her mother said it was. This might be her one chance to find out. Besides, when Riley smiled like that, she honestly didn't want to be the one to sucker punch him in the heart. It would be too cruel - like kicking a puppy for bringing you your slippers. It wasn't his fault she wasn't as in love with him as he was with her.
She smiled as broadly as she could manage and took his arm.
"I was just wondering if I'm dressed up enough for Gaston's," she lied.
"You look great. Every guy in the place is gonna wish he was me."
He stooped and gave her a small kiss. She blushed slightly. He thought it was at the compliment. She knew it was in shame at her own cowardice.
*****
The next day in training, Buffy was distracted. When
Giles managed to take her down for the fourth time in
a row with his quarterstaff, he called a time out.
"Are you feeling quite well?" he asked as he headed for the small refrigerator. "Or are you merely distracted?"
"Nah, I'm okay." She sat on the couch and accepted the bottle of water he offered her. "Just not completely here, I guess."
"Then where are you?" He sat beside her and took a swig from his own bottle. "Can I come along?"
Buffy smiled. Not many people noticed Giles' sense of humor. His sarcasm, yes. That was hard to miss, especially when it was directed at you. But the more whimsical moments were rarer and subtler. They were definitely part of her growing attraction. She girded her mental loins to talk to him.
"Giles...have you ever known someone a long time and then suddenly realized you were in love with them?"
"Ah...w-well..." He foundered a moment longer, then recovered himself. "Why do you ask?"
"I have this friend. And she knows this guy. She's known him almost forever. And suddenly she figured out she's all hot for him. What should she do?"
Giles swallowed hard. For some time now - ever since his First Slayer dream - he'd found himself looking at Buffy differently. Despite his best efforts, he had come to realize that he found her very attractive. Right now, for instance, there was a small bead of sweat wending its way down her throat to the hollow between her collarbones. He shook his head to clear it of the vision of tracing that same line with his tongue.
"I'm sorry. I can't tell you unless I know more of the situation. Your...'friend'...is there some reason she hasn't told this fellow about her feelings?"
"Well, she's already got a boyfriend. And he has a girlfriend." Her heart sank at the thought of Olivia. How could she compete against a woman who looked like that? A woman who didn't blush and ramble and make an idiot of herself when a complete stranger barged in while she was wearing nothing but Giles' shirt. "So it might not work out if she says anything, anyway."
Giles' heart sank. Whoever Buffy was interested in, it wasn't him. After all, it had been some months since Olivia had broken things off with him. He hadn't exactly advertised the fact, but Buffy had to have noticed by now that he was generally unoccupied on Friday nights. From the sound of things, Buffy must have decided Xander was attractive. That could get dangerous. Anya was not to be trifled with, even as an ex-demon. And there sat Buffy, her large eyes wiping every thought from his head. His eyes flickered across her lips. It was an effort not to lean over and taste them.
But no. She was still with Riley, and probably about to make a futile try at wresting Xander from Anya's grasp. The last thing she needed on top of that was another man making unwelcome advances.
"Giles? Still waiting here? What do you think I - I mean *she* - should do?" She groaned inwardly, praying her Freudian slip had gone unnoticed. His eyes had looked so intense for a moment. Smoldery. She was a little surprised, a touch relieved, and very disappointed when he stood and finished his water. "Well? Got an answer for me?"
"I think if your 'friend' isn't in love with her lover, she should set him free. But if the man she wants to be with is already involved, she shouldn't make any move on him. There's too much potential to hurt someone badly. Friendships could be destroyed for something that may turn out to be a whim." He turned back and looked her in the eye. "But if you don't love Riley, it isn't fair to him to lead him on, is it?"
"You knew?" Her voice was small and quavery. "How did you know?"
"Are you ready to concentrate on our work, now?"
"I've been trying, Giles."
"Yes, I know your personal life is very distracting, but you have a duty..."
"No. Not that. I mean I've been trying to break up with Riley. I tried last night."
"What do you mean tried?" He came and sat back down. "If you tried, you ought to have managed to accomplish the task."
"Okay, Giles, when was the last time you broke up with someone?" She glared slightly, but groaned inwardly. He looked so cute and befuddled. "How many tries did it take you?"
"It will only hurt him more, the longer you wait."
"I don't suppose I could ask you to do it, could I?"
"Riley isn't my boyfriend. This isn't my job."
"I know," she sighed. "It's just I was going to do it last night, but then he was so sweet, and so happy. I couldn't do it. I totally wimped."
He looked sympathetic. She took the opportunity to rest her head against his shoulder. Under her cheek, she could feel his muscles bunch slightly, then relax as his arm moved around her shoulder. She held very still, refusing to give in to the impulse to snuggle against him.
"Buffy, you can't put this off. It isn't fair to him, and it isn't doing anything but make you miserable and distracted. I'm giving you this advice as your Watcher, and as someone who...who cares about you." Cares! What a pale word compared with the one he'd almost used. She was holding herself stiffly - as if she were somehow afraid of him. Or perhaps she disliked his touch. He pulled his arm away and stood. "Now come on, we've still got crossbow drill, if you'll stay in the same room with me for another half an hour."
Right, Buffy thought, he cares so much he can't even stand to touch me for more than five seconds. Great. And how much point would there be in breaking up with a nice guy like Riley if there was no one else to turn to after he was gone?
When two arrows went wildly askew in their flights, Giles sent Buffy on her way early. His insurance would never cover the damage if she hit a customer.
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