Title: Accept No Substitutes
Author: Gileswench

(notes and disclaimer in part one)

Buffy stared at the motorcycle.

"Okay, I thought you got the whole midlife crisis thing out of your system when I went off to college," she teased. "Now I see it could have been...well, I guess this isn't really worse. At least it looks like more fun."

"I've always liked motorbikes," James said, mentally crossing his fingers that Buffy didn't know anything to contradict the statement.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I saw the magazine. Now if I find out you have a dune buggy, too, that's when I'll worry about demon possession."

James wasn't quite sure what Buffy was talking about, so he just smiled and swung one long leg over the motorcycle.

"Come on," he encouraged her, "get on and hold on tight."

"Where are we going?," Buffy asked as she complied and took the helmet he offered her.

"You'll see."

"Your place? Will Willow be there?"

James' jaw worked as he tried to think of an answer. At last he decided to say as little as possible.

"Um...no. Willow's...not there just now."

"Oh," Buffy said, clearly disappointed. James hoped Willow wasn't a beloved pet Buffy had been counting on seeing.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Ready," Buffy confirmed as she slid her arms around his waist.

"Hang on tight," James instructed.

He flipped the visor down and gunned the engine.

*****

Buffy was surprised when she found Giles had driven her back to London...if this was really Giles. She was rapidly coming to the conclusion that something was seriously wrong with the situation.

But if this man wasn't Giles, who was he?

And if he wasn't Giles, how could he be such a perfect replica?

Okay, he didn't dress or talk or act like the Giles she knew, but he was a perfect physical copy. This guy didn't just look like Giles in a close but no cigar way. He had the same green eyes with the funny amber patch in the left one. He had the same little mole on his left cheek. He had the same dimples around his lips and the same pattern of laugh lines and wrinkles and the same slightly receding hairline. She couldn't find one single thing wrong with this doppleganger. He even had the same ear pierced. Buffy wondered if he was left-handed, too.

She followed him cautiously into his flat.

"So...Giles," she began, "Where's Willow? Is he doing okay? Y'know, with his gambling?"

"Yeah, sure, fine," James answered unconvincingly. "You know Willow."

Buffy nodded.

"Yeah, I know Willow. Unfortunately, you don't." She sat on the sofa and crossed her arms over her chest. "Who are you and what have you done with Giles?"

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and gave Buffy a guilty look that made her think of a six-year-old caught with his hand in the cookie jar. His lips screwed up into a wry smile and he sat next to her.

"I told Terry it wouldn't work."

"How long did you think you could pull it off?" she asked icily.

James shrugged.

"I'm not really sure. I knew this was a bad idea."

"So why'd you do it?"

"Well, you seemed to want me to be this Giles chap so much...and I like to make beautiful women happy."

The unquestionable honesty of the excuse and James' puppy dog look were too much for Buffy. She began to laugh. James joined in her merriment, more out of relief than anything else. When she'd finished laughing, Buffy stood.

"Look, I really better go. Can you drive me to the train station? It is sorta the least you can do after taking me this far out of my way."

"Can I... at least let me take you to dinner first. As an apology. I promise I'll be myself the entire time. I can drive you up to Bath in the morning. Please."

"Well," Buffy said, "I am sorta hungry, and it is sorta getting late. And it's not like Giles knows I'm coming so he won't worry if I'm not there by a certain time, so yeah, okay. Dinner. A girl's gotta eat, right? And jetlag apparently makes me babble. Please feed me." "Come on, then," James smiled. "I know just the place."

*****

A good meal and a bottle of fine wine later, Buffy felt much better. James was funny and sweet and generous with the wine. Buffy's glass never seemed to empty. Between the jet lag and the alcohol, Buffy found herself loosening up in a way she hadn't in years.

"I can't believe I ever mistook you for Giles," she told her companion with a giggle. "I mean, yeah, total twin lookswise, but you're like... the anti-Giles."

"Is that good or bad?" James asked as he lit a cigarette.

"Not sure, yet. It's... it's funny, 'cause I keep expecting you to be one way and you're not. But I like what you're like. It's just... not Giles."

"What's so different?" James asked. "I mean, what's he like? I'm a bit curious."

"Well, there's the smoking thing, for one. He doesn't. And don't take this the wrong way, but he's way smarter than you. He's maybe the smartest person I've ever met, and I've known some pretty brainy people. So it's not like you should feel bad about it...and I'm making it worse, aren't I? I think maybe I shouldn't have had so much to drink."

"You haven't had that much," James said as he refilled her glass.

"Yeah, but I'm a total lightweight when it comes to booze," Buffy said, not that it stopped her taking another sip. "This is good. Let's just hope it doesn't lead to giant snakes or cave-Buffy."

"It would take a great deal more than this to make you see pink elephants, I think."

"That would be a new one for me. I usually end up with a lot worse stuff to deal with. Of course it's not like I need to drink for badness to happen in my life. It just usually adds a few layers of awful."

She drained her glass again. James gestured to the waiter for another bottle.

"Tell me more about this Giles. Is he your boyfriend?"

"No. At least not yet. I came here to fix that. Not that he has any idea I'm doing it."

"Does he know you love him?"

"Yes. No. I'm not even... I mean, I do, I love him, I just don't know how, if that makes any sense which I don't really think it does. I just know when he's gone my life turns to crap. Not that it isn't when he's there, too... I'm saying this all wrong." She took a deep breath and started over. "I do love him. I'm not sure if I'm in love with him, but I know I want him. And as bad as things are when he's there, they're about a million times worse when he isn't. So, here I am. Pretty dumb, huh?"

"I don't know. Sounds as if he's a lucky guy to me."

"Lucky?"

"If I had beautiful women traveling halfway round the globe to seduce me, I'd be pretty thrilled, I think."

"Even a total basket case like me?"

"Especially someone like you."

James fell silent as the waiter arrived with the fresh bottle. When the waiter was gone, he poured Buffy another glass, and one for himself. Then he spoke again.

"Look, you're lovely and good company and a very sexy woman. A man would have to be dead or insane not to want that."

"Don't count the dead out," Buffy said grimly as she took another drink. "You'd be surprised."

James looked quizzically at his companion for a moment, then laughed, deciding Buffy had been joking.

"That's funny," he said. "So tell me more about this twin of mine. What's he like?"

"You really want to know, don't you? Okay, well, he's smart and way sarcastic and he's really, really stuffy. Oh, and he so needs to take a look at how you dress and learn from the experience. And he's always pushing me."

"Pushing you? That doesn't sound very pleasant."

Buffy shrugged.

"It's only because he wants me to be the best Buffy I can be. And he's not mean about it...usually."

"So far I'm not sure why you want him. Is it that he's amazing in bed or something?"

"I - well - that...I wouldn't really know... though I've heard... what I mean is, we haven't. Ever. It hasn't been like that."

"What has it been like?"

"I'm not sure I can really explain. Not so anyone else would understand. He's just... Giles. My Giles. We're supposed to be together."

"Ah, destiny, I understand," James nodded.

"Yeah, that's it exactly. Destiny."

"Well, in the absence of your destiny, would you like to dance?"

James stood and offered his hand. Buffy stood and took it with a slight blush. This might not be Giles, but James looked so much like him it was impossible not to think about what it would be like to have Giles take her dancing. When James pulled her close and molded her body to his, Buffy felt a tingle that started in her belly and radiated outward. She wondered if this was what it would be like to be held by Giles.

She decided to close her eyes and indulge in the fantasy.

So nice.

So warm.

So right.

Maybe the fantasy could last a while longer.