Title: Love Heals All
Author: Rari

(notes and disclaimer with part one)

Love Heals All: Part 3

After her dreamless nap, everyone in the house was hoping that the dreams might not return. Giles was just getting ready to shut out the light when her first screams rent the air. He was up the stairs and opening the door to her room in seconds. Giles saw Dawn come out of her own room. She hesitated when she saw him. "I'll see to Buffy, Dawn. Go back to bed."

Dawn nodded. Buffy screamed again and Giles moved into the room, shutting the door behind him. He sat down on the bed and lifted Buffy up, pulling her into his arms, trying to wake her and comfort her at the same time. "Buffy, Buffy, wake up. You're dreaming." They had told him about the screams, but what he had imagined was nothing compared to the desperation he heard in her cries. It was almost inhuman, almost past bearing, the hearing of it.

Buffy awoke and when she felt arms around her she recoiled, pushing away. Her eyes opened and she saw it was Giles. She let out a gasp of relief and threw herself back in his arms. "Oh God, it's you. Don't leave me. Don't ever leave me."

Giles just held her as the adrenalin rush that had been released at hearing her scream started to fade and his heart gradually stopped trying to beat its way out of his chest. As his body started to calm down he began to realize that he was in pain. "Buffy, you have to let go a little. You're squeezing too hard."

Buffy let go a little. "Sorry."

"No, no, it's fine. Don't apologize." He made as if to pull away and Buffy moaned and held him tightly again. "I'm not leaving, I just need to sit differently. This will hurt my back before long."

Still barely releasing her grip, as if afraid that Giles would run if he got the chance, Buffy allowed him to shift his body until he was leaning against the headboard. She spoke, her voice shaky. "I'm sorry I woke you up. I can't seem to stop having them."

"Will you tell me about them? Are you willing to talk about it?" When she didn't answer he tried to prompt her. "Is it about waking up in your coffin?" He instinctively held her tighter, just the thought of what she had gone through sending a wave of empathetic fear through Giles, the thought of being buried alive a terrifying one. When there was still no response Giles just sat there, wondering if she would fall back asleep, wondering if he should stay if she did.

After a few minutes Giles could tell that Buffy was not going to go to sleep any time soon. Her body had not relaxed and she was still hanging on to him for dear life. He tried again. "Buffy, tell me, please. It might help. It might make you feel better."

He heard Buffy let out a long breath. Finally she spoke. "If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell anyone else?" Before he could answer she qualified her request. "You can tell Spike, he already knows."

That surprised Giles. "Spike knows what you're dreaming about?"

She shook her head. "No, but he knows… he knows the thing I need to tell you." She tried to explain. "I had to tell someone, I had to. I couldn't tell…them. And Dawn, she didn't…I couldn't do that to her. And you…you weren't here."

"I won't tell anyone, I promise."

There was another long silence. Giles waited patiently. "When Willow decided to bring me back…she thought…they all thought I was in hell." As Giles waited for her to continue he realized that she had started to cry. She continued, although her words were now interspersed with little sobs. "Why did they think that? Why didn't they make sure first? I was so happy." She started to moan, moans of sadness and despair that tore at Giles' heart.

He thought about the few sentences she had spoken and gasped as he reached the inevitable conclusion. The emotions that tumbled through him almost took his breath away. Anger, sorrow, denial, guilt, fear. He didn't think he was spared one. This time he held on to Buffy for dear life. "Oh God, Buffy. I'm so sorry. Oh God." His own eyes filled with tears and he could feel them running down his face.

He struggled to rein his own emotions in, wanting to be available for Buffy. She was speaking again. "I'm trying so hard, but I hate it here. I mean I don't hate everything. I love Dawn and you. But, I'm so tired, and I've died too many times already. And now I have to do this until I die again. I heard what you said downstairs about that guy and I want to feel that way but I don't know how. I'm filled with so much anger at them and I know I'm not being there for Dawn." She laughed, a short bitter one. "Spike's been the only one I could even talk to. You know my life's pretty pathetic when Spike feels like my best friend."

"I'm so sorry I left. I never would have gone if I'd known. I never would have left your side."

"I know. And I was going to tell you but by the time you got here there was so much other stuff going on, and then I wanted you to go, so you could come back and never leave again."

"Well, I'm back now, and I'm not going to leave again." He kissed the top of her head. "Buffy, what are the dreams about? Is it always the same one?"

"I'm there, in heaven or wherever I was, and something starts to tear me away. Sometimes it's Willow, or the others, sometimes it's vampires, or demons, sometimes it's my mom pushing me away, but each time I never want to go and no matter how hard I fight, I never win. I never get to stay. And then I'm in the coffin and I can't breath, and it's dark." She stopped abruptly and moved against Giles as if she wanted to burrow inside of him.

Giles' face blanched white in the darkness. He knew he was holding her too tightly, but he trusted to Buffy's slayer strength that she could withstand his grip. He felt so helpless, knowing there was nothing he could do, nothing he could say that would make this all right. All he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. But now was not the time. So, he just held her, rocking her gently. Buffy spoke one last time. "I'm so glad you're here. It feels…it feels like maybe I can stand it, as long as you're here."

"Well, I am here. However you want me, however you need me. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere." He had one more thing he needed to say. "If I could, I'd set the clock back, and I'd keep Willow from doing her spell. But I can't. But I can tell you, and I know it's selfish of me, that I am so glad to have you back. I don't know if it helps you to know that, but having you back means so much to me. I love you so damn much and I'll do anything I can to help you rebuild your life."

For the first time since he had come upstairs and pulled Buffy into his arms he felt her start to relax. She pulled back from his arms and looked at his face. It was a full moon and it shone brightly through the window. She reached up and touched his face, his tears reflecting the light and looking like streaks of diamonds running down his face. He reached his own hand up and tried to brush them away but she stopped him and did it herself. Buffy smiled at him, her lips trembling. "It helps. It helps to know that. Thank you."

"Oh Buffy." Giles pressed his cheek against hers tightly. The tightness in his chest grew painful. He told Buffy a small lie. "I need to use the bathroom and shut off the lights downstairs. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Buffy let him go and he stood. He looked at her for another moment and then he left the room. Giles walked downstairs and headed for the back door, quietly opening it and moving to sit on the porch steps. Then, he allowed himself the luxury of grief. He buried his face in his hands and he wept.

Spike watched him from the shadows. When Giles lifted his head again and began to wipe the tears from his face he approached. "She told you?"

Giles started at Spike's voice but then he nodded. He felt completely drained. Giles lifted weary eyes to Spike. "Spike, thank you."

Spike's eyebrows rose. "For what?"

"For being here for her. I think you were the only thing keeping her sane."

Spike scowled. "Well, it wasn't right what they did."

Giles rubbed his eyes again. "No, it wasn't."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

Giles looked up at Spike. "What do you mean?"

"How are you going to make it better?"

"Take care of Buffy first. Then deal with the rest." He blew out a breath. "Maybe I'll take her away for a few days. Get her away from here." He glanced up at the house, up towards Buffy's bedroom. "I need to get back to her." He stood.

"Where will you take her?"

Giles shook his head. "I don't know yet. Someplace peaceful. Someplace she doesn't have to think, or do anything unless she wants to. Someplace she can start to find some pleasure in life again." He started to turn the knob to go back in the house. He looked back at Spike one more time. "I'll need your help. If I take her away, will you watch over things until we get back?"

Spike nodded. "I'll watch over things, and I'll keep an eye out for Dawn."

Giles nodded and slipped back inside. He shut off the lights and walked upstairs. It felt odd to be heading back into Buffy's bedroom. He hesitated at the door once he had it open.

Buffy turned on the bed and spoke. "What took you so long?"

"Sorry."

"Come here."

Giles walked over to the bed. She reached up and took his hand, pulling on it. He sat gingerly on the bed. She spoke. "You'll still stay with me, right?"

Giles watched her in the moonlight. It accentuated the angles on her face, deepening the shadows under her eyes. He felt a surge of love and compassion for her. Giles softly brushed her cheek. "Whatever you need. I meant that."

She patted the pillow next to her and Giles lay down, feeling unaccountably shy. Buffy seemed to have no such hesitancy as she simply grabbed his arm and pulled it around her until he was spooned behind her. She pressed against him until she felt completely cocooned by him. Reaching for the covers she drew them up over the two of them. Giles lay there, attuned to her, aware of her body relaxing and her breathing slowing down and becoming more regular. He never thought he'd fall asleep, not this close to her, not in this position, but he did and they lay there together the rest of the night, in a dreamless sleep.

***

When Willow opened her eyes again the sun was shining through the window. She gasped and sat up. Tara opened a sleepy eye. "What?" Her voice sounded grumpy.

Willow's voice was filled with amazement. "It's morning, the sun's up."

"So?"

"She slept all night. She just had that one dream and then she slept all night. We slept all night." Willow couldn't believe how great she felt. She bounded out of bed and headed into the hallway. The door to Buffy's bedroom was still closed. Quietly she turned the knob and poked her head in. Her eyes softened as she saw the tableau in front of her. Buffy and Giles were still fast asleep, arms tight around each other. Willow felt a presence behind her and turning her head slightly she saw it was Tara. Tara was grinning. Then Willow saw Tara put her fingers to her lips as if to shush somebody and suddenly Dawn was poking her head in. Dawn grinned too. Willow closed the door and they stood in the hallway all grinning at each other.

Tara motioned to the door. "It's like he's the ultimate security blanket."

Willow was almost bouncing. "They look so cute together."

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Eeww. They had all their clothes on. Get your mind out of the gutter."

Willow would not be denied. "I know, but it's…it’s so romantic. He flies in from across the ocean and rescues her." She let out a sigh. They all grinned again and headed downstairs to a quiet breakfast.

***

It was almost noon and the house quiet when Buffy fully woke up. She had woken up multiple times throughout the night. She'd had no more dreams since that first one that had brought Giles up to her. The potential for the dreams had been there but every time one began Giles had been there. He'd been there in her dreams, holding her, keeping her fears at bay, making her feel loved. Each time she'd jerked awake as if fearful to find it only a dream, and each time, he'd been there in real life too. Large and strong and warm, lying next to her.

He tossed and turned a lot and that woke her too. But he'd never stopped touching her. Granted it was a small bed and touching was to a certain extent unavoidable. Yet each time he'd repositioned himself he'd then pulled her to him, or searched for her hand, or thrown an arm over her body. It was as if while sleeping he was able to ignore his usual reserved manner around her and instead claim his right to be this close to her.

He'd woken once and risen. When she heard the door open she had snapped awake, fearful he was leaving. But she'd heard him pad down the hall to the bathroom and then in a minute heard the toilet flush. Then he'd returned. Buffy smiled when she thought of the conversation they had had.

Giles had thrown himself in the bed with a grunt. Buffy let out a spontaneous gasp as his heavy weight flopping down almost flipped her out of the bed. He lifted sleep filled eyes to her and mumbled. "Sorry."

Buffy let out a nervous giggle. "It's all right."

Giles grunted again. "We need a bigger bed."

That statement startled Buffy. "What?"

His voice was groggy but still clear enough. "We need a bigger bed. This one isn't big enough for both of us." With that he turned over on his stomach and after laying an arm across her middle, right under her breasts, he started lightly snoring.

Buffy stared at him. She couldn't believe the casual way he had said that, as if it was his intention to always sleep with her. Which was fine with her, the sleeping part anyway. And she had to admit she was really liking the touching part so far. Even if it had all just been hugging stuff. Then she started feeling nervous. She wondered. "Giles." She got no response. She poked him a little and spoke his name louder. "Giles." He grunted. "Who am I?" She suddenly started to wonder if he thought he was with someone else.

Giles let that question slowly settle in his brain. He knew it could be excused because of jet lag and a couple of days with no sleep but he didn't like that his thoughts were so muddled. For the life of him Buffy's question made no sense. He tried to come up with a witty response but it was beyond him. Instead he growled. "Just go back to sleep, Buffy."

Buffy let out a relieved breath. She smiled. "Okay." Buffy secured the arm across her stomach with both her hands and did as instructed and they had both drifted off to sleep again.

Giles was on his side now, facing away from her. But one of her arms was around him, and her hand was clasped in one of his, tucked under his chin. She rose up and looked down at him. Buffy had to admit she felt better. Not great, not the hills are alive great, but better. She figured that bad dreams and no sleep for weeks probably hadn't been helping much with the attitude. One good night's sleep had helped, almost as much as the man lying beside her had.

Then her thoughts started to intrude. Thoughts of her friends, of what they'd done, thoughts of slaying, of dying. Giles' voice interrupted her reverie. "Stop that."

"Huh?"

"Whatever you're thinking. Stop it." His voice was thick from sleep.

Buffy's eyebrows rose. "How did you…?"

He turned to face her. "I can feel it in your body. You got so tense all of a sudden." He looked past her to the clock and his eyes widened as he took in the time. "Good Lord, is it really noon?"

Buffy nodded, a grin on her face, grateful for his distraction. "When's the last time you slept this good?"

Giles thought about it for a moment. He shook his head and let out a short laugh on exhalation. "I don't…I haven't the foggiest idea. Years, I expect."

"Like maybe since a certain fifteen year old walked into your library?"

Giles laughed again. "Yes, that sounds about right." Giles yawned and rolled out of bed. "I'll be right back." Again Buffy listened to him pad down the hall, she listened to the toilet flush, to him brushing his teeth, and then his footsteps back to the bedroom.

She met him at the door. "My turn." She pointed back to the bed. "Be there when I get back." Buffy didn't wait for an answer. Giles yawned again and decided not to argue. He crawled back into bed and was actually dozing off again when Buffy crawled in next to him. She lay on her side facing him. "I have a new forever plan."

"Hmmm?" When she didn't speak any more he opened his eyes and looked at her. Her face was so serious. "What? What's your new plan?"

"We stay here forever. With occasional trips to the bathroom. Dawn can bring us our meals."

Giles snorted. He rolled over until he was on his back. "This bed's not big enough."

"I know. You said that already."

Giles rolled back on his side. "Excuse me?"

"Early this morning. You told me we had to buy a bigger bed. That this one wasn't big enough for both of us."

Giles’ eyebrows rose at her words and he could feel himself blushing. He opened his mouth to try and make what he'd said somehow sound more proper and then he just let out his breath and gave it up. "Well, it's not."

Buffy nodded. "So, what do you think of my plan? We could probably order a new bed over the phone and have it delivered."

Giles sat up, one leg drawn up, one hanging off the side of the bed. He cocked his head to the side and looked at Buffy, shaking his head. At the chagrined look on Buffy's face he hastened to explain. "No, I have a better plan."

"You have a plan? When did you come up with a plan?"

"Last night. Do you want to hear it or not?"

"I'm all ears." Suddenly Giles felt shy again. He plucked at the bedspread, hesitant. Buffy reached out and with a finger under his chin, lifted his face. "Come on, spill."

"Well, I was wondering, and you're certainly under no obligation to want to, but I was thinking that maybe you and I could go away for a few days. Away from here, away from everyone."

"Away from here?" Buffy's voice was tinged with hope. "Just you and me?"

Giles reached for one of her hands. "Yes, just you and me. Someplace where you can rest and not have any responsibilities except growing stronger and finding your place again."

Giles watched as Buffy's eyes went from hope-filled to cautious again. "How about patrolling?"

"Spike said he'd take care of it."

At that, Buffy's eyebrows rose. "You were quite the busy boy last night, weren't you?"

Giles ignored that. "Well, yes or no?"

"Where would we go?"

"Anywhere you want. We could find someplace beautiful. The mountains, perhaps, or the ocean. Someplace where the brochures say that it's a little bit like heaven."

Buffy smiled, her eyes filling with tears. "You'd take me someplace like that?"

"I'll take you anywhere. And if you're not sure, we can go to a travel agency and see what's available." He touched her cheek softly. "But surely there's some place you always wanted to go."

"It might be expensive."

Giles waved his hand as if to negate her concerns. "I'm not without resources." He frowned. "Within reason."

The word almost left her mouth without her volition. "Hawaii."

Giles smiled. "Hawaii it is." He looked at the clock again. "I better get up so I can start making arrangements."

Buffy smiled back. "Can I go with you? Maybe we could go and get some breakfast first."

"You feel up to it?"

"You know what? I feel pretty good."

"You don't know how glad I am to hear it." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Giles leaned back and the two of them just looked at each other, each getting caught in the affection in the other's eyes. The moment stretched on until it almost became unbearable, a fork clearly being reached, one branch of which Giles was not yet ready to take. He broke eye contact and stood. "I'll just go and get dressed." Buffy nodded, not saying a word, her own feelings a little jumbled, both relieved and disappointed that Giles had gotten up and moved away.

End of Part 3