Title: Love Heals All
Author: Rari

RATING: FRM
PAIRING: B/G
SPOILERS: The Gift, and all of season six through Flooded
DISCLAIMER: It all belongs to Joss, the real king of the world, the WB, UPN, Fox, Mutant Enemy and anybody else who feels they own it. I'm just borrowing, lost in admiration, and then giving them back, memories wiped clean.
SUMMARY: Something is clearly wrong with Buffy as a result of Willow and gang bringing her back from the dead, and it's not getting better. Giles tries to figure it out and make things right.
NOTES: This is set right after Flooded and then goes into my own little unJossable universe
FEEDBACK: Absolutely.

Thanks to Gileswench for her help on this one.

Love Heals All: Part 1

Willow lay trembling in her bed, Tara's arms tight around her. The echo of Buffy's scream was still reverberating through the house. It was a scream that was filled with horror and pain and Willow felt it to her marrow. For a week Buffy had been screaming. For seven nights Buffy had woken them all up as her dreams manifested themselves as bloodcurdling cries that kept them all awake, cringing in their beds.

The first night Willow had run in to comfort Buffy. It had taken Willow so long to wake her up. When Buffy had finally opened her eyes and seen Willow next to her she had recoiled from her, as if she was the cause of the dream. She had pushed Willow away, yelling at her to leave her alone, to leave her in peace. Willow could see, for whatever reason, that she was making Buffy even more upset by her presence, so she had finally and reluctantly left. And that pattern had repeated itself over and over again all week.

Tara had fared no better. Buffy had wanted nothing to do with either of them. The only person Buffy would let near her at night was Dawn. So Dawn had stayed, holding Buffy for the rest of the night, trying to wake her when the dreams consumed her again. Dawn had gotten little sleep. And now, after so many nights, Dawn was of little help to Buffy. Terrified of the screams, haunted by whatever visage was plaguing Buffy, suffering from no sleep, Dawn had depleted her teenage internal resources and she had nothing left to offer Buffy.

Buffy had told no one what her dreams were about. Her eyes would get huge and fill with tears and she would shake her head and turn away. Every morning she would come down and have breakfast with everyone. She would be pleasant to Willow and Tara, and loving to Dawn, but every night, the dreams returned, and with the dreams, the screaming. Even Spike had tried. He had heard her cries from outside the house and when they had gone on too long without ceasing he had come in and entered her bedroom. But he had overplayed his hand and tried to get too physically close to her. Buffy had left the bed and gone to sit in the chair by the window, refusing to sleep again until he left. He had paced outside every night since, angry with himself, angry with Buffy, and furious with Willow, with all four of them, for what they had done.

Willow let go with a sob. She raised herself up on one elbow and looked at Tara. "Why is she like this? Why won't she get better?" Her voice was filled with misery.

Tara just shook her head, her lips tight. She had no answers to give Willow. And the advice she had tried to give to her had been firmly rebuffed, several times.

Willow pulled herself into a sitting position covering her face with her hands as she cried. "I…oh God, oh God…Tara…did I…?" Willow shook her head, still feeling so unable to speak of the fear in her heart, the fear that Giles had been right. That Buffy was damaged. That Willow had done this to her.

Tara reached out and pulled her in tightly, trying one more time. "Willow, you know what you have to do. Why are you still fighting so hard? This isn't about you anymore, it can't be. It has to be about Buffy." She ran her hands comfortingly up and down Willow’s back. "He gets back today. You have to tell him."

Willow shook her head. "You didn't hear what he said to me. He called me…he thinks…" Her voice grew more defiant. "He wasn't there, he didn't see. I didn't do anything wrong."

Tara pulled back from the hug and began to wipe the tears off of Willow’s face. "It doesn't matter. He'll see that something's wrong. He'll see that Buffy's not okay. Dawn will tell him. Dawn's wanted to call him for days. It will go better if you tell him, if you ask him."

Willow curled into a fetal position. "Oh God, I can't. I can't. What if he was right? What if I did this to her?" Willow let out a keening wail, almost as heartbreaking as Buffy's cries. Tara fought to keep her own tears away.

After seeing for himself that Buffy was alive Giles had gone back to England to make arrangements to move back here permanently again. Willow had conveniently lost Giles' number mid week, not wanting Dawn to tell him anything was wrong. Giles had called twice but each time it had been Buffy who answered and it had been Buffy who told him she was fine and that he just needed to get his business taken care of so he could come home, as quickly as possible. Willow had been so sure it would get better before he got back, that he would never even need to find out anything about this. But her time was up and his plane was due to arrive early the next afternoon.

Willow knew that Tara was right. He would see that something was wrong as soon as he saw Buffy and Dawn. As soon as he saw them all. None of them had been sleeping. All of them had been affected by the screams, as if the pain in them had mixed in with the air they breathed, making their chests tight and their hearts race.

Giles and Willow had not had much of a chance to talk before he had left again. She had been on her best behavior and Giles had been painstakingly polite to her, with none of his usual warmth. Willow had been relieved when he left and once he was gone she had found herself feeling angry with him and with his attitude towards her. But this week had been unexpected and it had started to erode her confidence. And that had made her even angrier. And the one person she least wanted to go to for help was Giles. As if it would be acknowledging that he knew more than she did, that he was more powerful than she was, and, the most painful somehow, that he knew Buffy better than Willow did.

Willow just lay there and cried, all her defenses slowly crumbling as Buffy let out another scream. Tara's tears began to fall as well as she ran her hand through her lover's hair.

***

They had managed to survive the night. Tara was cooking breakfast and there was little talking as she flipped pancakes. Everyone looked beat. Dawn was practically falling asleep at the table. Buffy got up to get some juice and she poured herself a glass. Her eyes lit on the calendar lying on the counter next to the refrigerator. She stared at it as if trying to understand it. She finally shook her head and looked up. "What day is it?"

Tara moved over to her and put her finger on the square for today's date. Written in ink and circled were the words 'Giles home'. Tara smiled at Buffy, seeing the first glimpse of happiness she had seen in Buffy's eyes for days. "He'll be back today."

Buffy could hardly believe it. She didn’t think a week had ever taken so long to pass. "Today? It's finally today?" Tara nodded and then she moved back to her pancakes.

Dawn looked up at that. "Giles comes home today? Really?" Dawn could barely contain the enormous sense of relief she felt. She needed a grown up around her so desperately, someone who would take care of things. And somehow she knew that things would be better with Giles here. They had to be. Buffy had to get better. She had to. Dawn looked down at the pancakes Tara had just put in front of her. Just the thought of Giles coming back gave her some appetite and she dug in, eating her first real meal in days.

Willow spoke up for the first time. "I'll go get him." She tried to make it sound like a good thing. That she was looking forward to it.

Buffy frowned, something in Willow's voice making her nervous. "You'll bring him here, right? I mean, you'll go get him and then you'll come right back here."

Tara gently touched Buffy’s arm. "He'll be staying here, Buffy. He still doesn't have a place to live. Willow will bring him here."

Willow nodded. "I…I just…" She gave up and fibbed a little. "I'll bring him right back, I promise." After she spoke with him. After he yelled at her. After he ripped her heart out and broke it into little Willow pieces all over the terminal, or the coffee shop, or wherever they had their talk. She felt like she was going to her own funeral. Willow decided to skip breakfast and head off to school early. She was afraid she'd just throw it back up. She kissed Tara quickly on the cheek and left the house.

Buffy ate her breakfast too. It would help pass the time. She looked at the clock fifteen times before she was through.

***

Giles was apprehensive. He didn't even know why. He was jumpy, and unable to sleep, and couldn't get Buffy off his mind. Giles could still hardly believe she was alive. Every time he thought about it his heart would clench in his chest and his breath would catch. And right now, all he wanted to do was see her and hold her tight until he believed it again.

He had cut short his plans by almost a week, responding to something he had heard in Buffy's voice. Despite her assurances to the contrary he could tell that something was wrong. He had learned to read Buffy quite well over the years. He didn't always know what he was reading, but he knew when it was important, and when it shouldn't be ignored. So he had lied, and told her he'd gotten everything done and that he was coming home. And he'd heard the relief in her voice and known he'd made the right decision. Prosaic business like homes and jobs and money matters could keep. He had a miracle to attend to.

His eyes swept over Los Angeles as the plane started to make its descent. He couldn't wait to get off the plane. The seats were too small for his legs and he desperately needed to stretch them. Giles wondered if someone would come for him. And who that someone might be. He knew who he didn't want it to be.

Giles hadn't yet worked through his feelings about what Willow had done. He wasn't quite sure how to handle it. He certainly didn't feel he'd done an especially fine job of it in the kitchen that night. All he'd done was make her angry and make her touch that darkness inside of her. That darkness that would now always be a part of her, a part she would have to resist, or be torn apart by. He knew she didn't understand and he had yet to think of a way to show her. And his love for her made him long for her to learn her lesson without the pain it took to teach him his.

Giles let out a sigh and when the seatbelt sign went off he stood and retrieved his bag from the overhead compartment. He waited impatiently as the passengers in front of him seemed to take forever to start exiting. As he hit the jetway he slung his bag over his shoulder and enjoyed the sensation of walking, unimpeded by narrow aisles, food and beverage carts, and flight attendants hawking duty-free products.

He saw her the minute he walked through the gateway and he bit back a frustrated bark of laughter. Somehow he wasn't surprised. Somehow he'd known it would be her. Giles caught Willow's eyes and he saw that she was no happier about this than he was. In fact, she looked miserable and somehow that triggered a rush of compassion in him for her. She was so young. And there was no one else who could possibly teach her but him. She was his charge, as were they all. As they all had been for years. Her power and her arrogance didn't make it any less true.

Giles walked up to her, put down his bag and pulled Willow in for a hug. The hug was so unexpected Willow let out a gasp. And then she started to cry, holding on to Giles for dear life. He held her, rocking her gently back and forth, letting her cry, allowing all the other passengers to brush by them.

When it seemed as if she might never stop, Giles started to move them both, moving over to a gate currently not in use, with dozens of empty chairs and privacy. He sat Willow down and continued to hold her as she cried some more. Giles pulled out his handkerchief, ready to offer it to Willow as soon as her tears turned to sniffles.

Through her tears and her misery, the main emotion pulsing through Willow was relief. Relief that Giles still loved her. He was speaking softly to her, telling her everything would be all right, that she'd be all right, that he was here now. And she believed him. It frightened her how far away she'd gone, how willing she'd been to push him away, to keep him away. She could feel things healing inside of her and she found the courage to finally lift her head up and look him in the eyes.

Giles smiled softly at her, his gaze worried, but not angry, not condemning. "I'm thinking we have things to talk about, yes?"

Willow nodded, hiccupping, her breath still catching. Giles handed her his handkerchief and she took it with a shaky smile. "Giles to the rescue." She blew her nose and then using the other end of it she wiped her tears away. The kindness in his gaze undid her and she started to cry again. Giles shifted in the chair until he was a bit more comfortable and he settled in to wait.

Finally her tears came to an end. She found a dry end of the handkerchief and tried to mop her tears up again. She let out a long sigh. She hated to speak, so afraid that Giles would get that look in his eyes again, that angry condemning how dare you mess with my slayer look. But she didn't think he'd go for the 'everything is fine' routine at this point. So she went for the truth. "There's something wrong with Buffy." Another sob tore lose and the strength of it leaving her body hurt her. She laid both her hands on her chest. "Ow."

Giles' eyes grew anxious. "What's wrong with Buffy? Is she all right? Do we need to go?"

Willow shook her head. "No, she's fine right now." Another sob and another spate of tears. Giles pursed his lips and telling Willow he'd be right back he went to the gift shop and bought some tissues. When he returned he handed them to her. Willow let out a giggle. "I'm sorry, Giles."

Giles cocked his head at her. "What exactly are you sorry for, Willow?"

Willow let the word out on a wail. "Everything." More tears. Giles stretched his legs out in front of him, waiting. "You…you were right. I don't think she came back right. Maybe I did something wrong. But I…I didn't mean to…I never…" Willow started crying again in earnest and buried her head in Giles' shoulder. He patted her on the back, feeling a little less patient now, needing to know what was wrong with Buffy.

"Willow, what's the matter with her?"

Giles struggled to understand Willow as she spoke into his shoulder. "She's having nightmares. Bad nightmares. Every night, all night. She screams and screams. We can't get her to stop." Willow pulled back again and lifted her red puffy eyes to Giles. "She won't let anyone near her at night except for Dawn, and it's too much for her. Dawn's freaking out, Buffy won't tell us what's going on, and…and I don't know what to do." Willow's eyes began to plead. "Please don't hate me Giles. I can't stand it for you to hate me. Please tell me you'll help me. I don't want her to be like this. I never thought…" Tears began to roll down her face again.

"Oh Willow, I never hated you. I don't think I could ever hate you. I was frightened for you, frightened at what you might be becoming, frightened at your appalling lack of judgment, your blind faith in magic, with so little understanding of the consequences of what you'd done, what you'd invoked." He put a reassuring hand on Willow's shoulder. "Of course I'll help you. I'll do everything I can to help Buffy, to help you both. I…I don't want anything to happen to any of you." He pulled out a few more tissues and handed them to her. "I need to know the exact spell you did. I need to know everything about it." He felt Willow's body tighten and watched as she pulled away from him. He tightened the grip on her shoulder. "I can't help if you don't tell me. And if you're that reluctant to tell me, that should tell you something."

"What do you mean?"

Giles let out a breath. "If you're reluctant to tell me about the spell I imagine that there are parts of the spell that you feel badly about, that the wiser voice inside of yourself knows wasn't right to do, to participate in." His eyes were kind as they looked at her, but she could see the pain in them. "And that's all right. It's done, and you can't undo it. All you can do from here is learn from it, and listen to that voice inside you, the one I trust, the one you need to trust."

She hesitated still. "I haven't told anyone, not even Tara."

"I won't tell anyone either, I promise. But you have to tell me, or I can't help."

Willow let out a long breath. And then she told him. Giles tried to keep the horror off his face, but he felt it inside of him, ripping through him like a hurricane. It was all he could do not to shake her and tell her what an amazing fool she was. But instead, he closed his eyes and focused on her words, not wanting to miss anything, anything that might be a clue as to what was wrong with Buffy. At least this time Willow's voice wasn't filled with pride. Instead it was filled with shame and fear and Giles clung to that with hope. Hope that Willow hadn't damaged herself irreparably along with Buffy.

When Willow was done she sat there and waited for Giles' reaction. Despite his attempts to keep his face clear of emotions, she had seen several of them flit across his face and none of them had been good. She felt so vulnerable, raw to the touch. Willow waited until he finally opened his eyes. He looked at her. "Oh Willow." He reached out a hand and held her chin, looking carefully at her, searching her eyes. "Are you all right?"

Willow knew what Giles was asking and it frightened her. She nodded. "I think so." Her eyes started getting teary again. "Why? What's going to happen to me?" Her voice sounded so young and fearful.

Giles rubbed one hand over his lower face. "I…I don't know Willow. But, you have opened doors within yourself that can do you some harm." He smiled tightly at her. "I may be able to help, if you'll let me." Willow just nodded, her eyes wide. Giles stood and reached out a hand to Willow. "Let's go see Buffy." Willow took his hand and let him pull her up. He slung his bag over his shoulder again and the two of them headed out.

***

Buffy was pacing. Willow should have brought Giles home by now. She looked at the clock again, resisting the urge to rip if off the wall and stomp on it until it was nothing but scrap. Dawn watched her pace, and had to resist her own urge to hit Buffy.

They both heard the car pull up and Dawn let out a huge sigh of relief. Giles had just gotten out of the car when Buffy appeared and threw herself into his arms. He folded his arms around her and pulled her in close. He rested his cheek on the top of her head, allowing the sensation of her being alive to slowly seep its way back into his heart. He spoke softly to her. "I still can't believe it."

Buffy laughed softly into his chest. "Me neither." She hugged him so tightly he grunted. She pulled back just the smallest amount. "I'm so glad you're home."

Giles heard a noise and he looked up to see Dawn. He opened up one of his arms inviting her in for a hug as well. She needed no urging and moved in, needing to sense his presence. She felt protected for the first time in days. Protected from the sort of things even a slayer sister couldn't protect her from. Fear and anxiety, loneliness and the terror of a future that might not ever get better.

Eventually Giles shepherded them into the house. He sat on the couch and they each sat on either side of him, his arms around them both, keeping them close. He felt like he was home, that he was back with his family. And he knew he was right where he belonged.

Dawn started to cry and Willow handed Giles a box of tissues, a grin on her face. He rolled his eyes, removed his arm from around Dawn's shoulders and took the box. Giles handed Dawn a couple of tissues. He looked down at Buffy and realized that she had fallen asleep. Giles softly kissed the top of her head and turned his attention to Dawn. "Shh, Dawn, it's all right. Everything will be all right. I promise."

Dawn just nodded and moved closer to him. She rested her head in the crook of his shoulder, still drawing shaky breaths. Giles ran his hand down her hair, soothing her. In time her crying stopped and when he looked down at her she was fast asleep as well.

Willow had gone to make Giles some tea and she walked back into the living room with it only to find Giles smiling down at the two sleeping girls. He sent Willow an appreciative smile for the tea but wasn't sure how to extricate an arm so as to drink it. Willow moved forward to help. She coaxed Dawn to lie down, her head on a pillow by Giles' thigh. One arm still around Buffy, Giles now had one hand free to drink his tea. Willow handed it to him and they sat there quietly. When Giles looked up next, it was to find that Willow had fallen asleep as well, curled up in the chair she'd been sitting on.

That's how Tara found them. She walked in and saw Giles, and then took in the company he was keeping. Giles grinned at her. "I seem to be surrounded by sleeping beauties."

Tara grinned back. "It's the first time anyone's slept well for a week." Her eyes were lit with relief and affection. "I'm so glad you're back."

Giles looked down at Buffy, then at Dawn, and then at Willow. He looked up at Tara again. "I am too."

Tara sat down on the coffee table across from Giles, keeping her voice low. She gestured at Willow. "Did you talk?"

Giles nodded. "Yes, for quite some time." His lips tightened. "I hope I can help."

Tara smiled softly at him. "You already have." She very briefly touched his knee. "You already have." She stood. "I'll go start getting dinner ready." Giles nodded, smiling back at her and then he rested his head back against the couch and closed his eyes as well.

End of Part 1