Title: Friends and Lovers
Author: Rari

(notes and disclaimer with part one)

Friends and Lovers: Part 4

It had been a busy night and they decided to reward themselves with some ice cream. Settling into a booth after ordering their favorites, Giles frowned when he saw Buffy's face under the harsh lights. "You're hurt more seriously than I thought. Perhaps we should take our ice cream home so I can wash that out."

Buffy put her hand up to her head, touching the place where it hurt, pulling away fingers dabbed with blood. "No wonder the guy at the counter was giving me such weird looks." She stood. "I'll just go wash up. It really doesn't hurt."

Giles watched her as she entered the ladies washroom. Sighing, he stretched out his legs. He hated when she got hurt. It always reminded him of what could happen to her if she let her guard down at the wrong moment. That's all it would take, one wrong move and she could be dead. Over the years, the possibility of her death had grown more difficult for him to deal with until at this point, the thought of it felt quite overwhelming. Giles didn't think he'd survive if anything happened to her. Lost in thought he didn't even notice Buffy's return. He looked up, startled, to find her staring at him. "Buffy."

She grinned at him. "Where were you? It didn't look like a very happy place." The grin slid off her face. "Are you all right?"

Giles nodded. "Just woolgathering. I'm sorry."

"Woolgathering from black sheep, it looked like."

Giles smiled at the imagery. "Yes, very black." Giles was grateful when he heard his name being called, indicating that their ice cream sundaes were ready to be picked up.

As he brought them back to the table Buffy's eyes lit up. "Yum."

Giles couldn't help but agree. "It's a good thing we don't do this very often or I'd be as big as a house."

Buffy cast her gaze over Giles. "Nah, you got nothing to worry about. You stay in great shape."

Giles' eyebrows rose at her comment but his mouth was full of ice cream so he didn't respond.

Buffy ate for a while, punctuating the air with sounds of delight. Then she looked at Giles. "How old are you?"

"46."

Buffy pursed her lips, spoon held mid-air. "46?"

Giles nodded. "Why?"

"Does that feel old to you? I mean, do you feel old?"

Giles let out a soft laugh. "No, well, sometimes, I suppose I certainly feel older. But, no, I don't feel particularly old."

"How do you feel older?"

"A little creakier, a little less resilient, a few more aches and pains, especially after a difficult patrol, that sort of thing."

"But inside of you, you don't feel old?"

Giles furrowed his brow as he looked at her. "Why this sudden interest in my age?"

"Just answer the question."

"No, inside I still feel as if I'm young, most of the time. Wiser, certainly, than when I was your age, and I've had many more experiences, but the important things that give one pleasure and cause one pain are pretty universal regardless of age."

"Like what?"

Giles thought for a minute. "Wanting someone to love you, wanting to love someone in return, wanting to feel as if you are living your life well and making a difference. Most people want those things, regardless of their age, once they've ceased being a child, at any rate. The advantage to being older, at least in my experience, is that it helps clarify things a bit." He took a bite of ice cream and then waved his spoon at Buffy. "Don't you want those things?"

"Absolutely." She paused. "I want people to like me, too."

Giles smiled at her. "Everyone wants that, Buffy. But as you get older you begin to realize that you cannot be true to yourself and have everyone like you. People are too different. You need to determine how you mean to be and what's important to you. Then spend time with the people who like you for those traits and recognize that the rest of them don't really matter and can in fact make you sell yourself short if you try to please them."

"Do you like me?"

Giles stared at her, his spoon half way to his mouth. "Excuse me?"

"Do you like me? I mean, I know I'm your Slayer, and we're all connected and stuff. But do you just like me for me?"

Giles smiled at her, reaching out with his free hand to lightly touch hers. "Yes, Buffy. I like you very much."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Cool." She went back to her ice cream. After a few bites she looked up at Giles. "I like you too."

Giles smiled again. "Thank you. That's nice to hear."

"And I don't think you're old. I mean, not in a bad way. Just that you're older, like you said, with more aches and pains."

Giles stared at her for a moment, his face serious as he considered her. "Have you been worrying about that conversation all this time?"

"Sorta. I knew I said something stupid. It just took me this long to figure it out."

"Buffy, it wasn't stupid. It was the truth. I'm sure I seem very old to you. I was older than you are now when you were born."

"That's kind of a wigsome thought." Giles let out a short laugh and opened his mouth to speak but she beat him to it. "It's kind of cool, though, too. Cuz it means you're smart and can understand all the stupid things I do." She watched Giles' eyes darken and she corrected herself. "Okay, not stupid. Less than smart. Is that better?"

Giles shook his head in exasperation. "Buffy, you're simply growing up. It should all fall under the category of learning. Not identified with such pejorative words."

"I'm guessing that means bad."

"Yes, that means bad."

"Say it again."

"Pejorative."

Buffy mouthed it a couple of times. "Pejorative, pejorative. Hmpf. I need to get one of those learn a new word a day calendars so I can start using big fancy words like you."

"That's not necessary. I generally understand you quite well."

"Yeah, well, it doesn't always work so well going the other way."

"You always ask me if you don't understand what I'm saying."

"Assuming I haven't fallen asleep."

"Very amusing. Would you like me to start using words of fewer syllables so you can more easily follow my thoughts?"

"Nah, it wouldn't be Gilesy if you did that."

"Gilesy?"

"Yeah, it wouldn't be you. You're all smart. I like that. It's sort of, I don't know, sexy."

Giles coughed on his current bite of ice cream. "Sexy?" That's a word he never expected Buffy to use to describe him.

"Yeah. I read that all the time in my magazines. That women think smart guys are sexy. I get it now. It is."

Giles had no idea how to respond so he went back to his ice cream.

Finally Buffy spoke again. "Does it bother Jenny when you patrol with me?"

Giles looked at Buffy, surprised. "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious."

He cocked his head to the side. "Does it bother Riley?"

Buffy nodded. "Big time."

"Why?"

"I have no idea. But he really doesn't like it. We argued about it again tonight."

"Ah."

Buffy frowned at him. "There you go with the 'ah' again."

"Sorry." He smiled. "It didn't really mean anything this time."

"So, does it bother Jenny?"

"Yes, it does."

"Do you argue about it?"

"I wouldn't say we argue about it, but we certainly have an overabundance of conversations about it."

Buffy grinned. "That's my Giles. I'll bet Jenny would call them arguments."

Giles sighed. "She might at that."

"So, what's her deal?"

Giles thought about the conversation he'd had tonight with Jenny. He took a more generalized tack when he answered Buffy. "When people fall in love with someone, they like to think that the object of their affection belongs entirely to them. I would imagine that the relationship that you and I have is not easily understood by anyone else. It might be perceived as threatening."

"You mean like they're jealous?"

"I suppose that's one way to put it. But I think it's a bit more complicated than that."

"Like not jealous romantically, but jealous even deeper. Like they know there's a piece of you they can never, ever have."

Giles' eyebrows rose at her words. "Yes, I believe that sums it up very well."

Buffy grinned with pleasure. "See? I can be smart too."

"I am hardly the one who needs to be convinced of that."

"I know. I was saying it for me." She took a last bite of her ice cream. "I'm stuffed. I can't eat another bite." She pushed her bowl away.

Giles wasn't quite done so he kept eating.

Buffy started playing with the saltshaker. "So, you think that's what Riley and Jenny are seeing? That you and I, you know…"

"That you and I are invested in one another in a way that makes them feel excluded?"

"Yeah. Like we own pieces of each other that they don't get to have."

"Yes, I imagine that is exactly what they see."

Buffy looked at Giles' bowl. "Is that a cherry?"

Giles grinned and lifted it out. "Here."

Buffy leaned forwards and nibbled it out of his fingers. Giles tried to ignore the flush that went through him as her lips touched him. After she finished eating the cherry she looked at the bowl again. "Any more of those?" Giles started looking. While she waited she leaned back. "No wonder they're not crazy about us spending time together." Giles found another cherry and spooned this one out. Buffy picked it off the spoon. "Thanks."

Giles nodded. "You're welcome. I think that's the last one." He pushed his bowl away too. "They don't understand. Even were we to spend less time together, the connection would still be there."

"Yup, you're stuck with me." Buffy picked up her spoon and started scraping through Giles' ice cream, looking for missed goodies.

Giles grinned. "Yes, I am, as you are stuck with me."

Buffy grinned back and then she let out a cry of victory as she found another cherry. After making sure Giles didn't want it, she ate it. "You'd think Jenny would be used to it. I mean, you guys have been together for …" She started counting on the tabletop. "'97, '98, '99, '2000, four years."

Giles looked startled. "Good heavens, has it really been four years?"

"Yup. You met her my first year here." Buffy counted again. "Calendar year." She grinned. "No pun intended." She finished her thought. "You guys started dating right after I started my junior year and that was still 1997."

"That's right, we did. It's easy to lose track of the time."

"Are you gonna marry her one of these days?" Buffy was sorry she asked the question as soon as the words passed her lips. She really didn't want to hear Giles say yes.

"I haven't given it much thought."

"I bet she loves that."

"Jenny knew I was your Watcher before we started dating. I've always made it clear to her that you come first."

"And I'll bet she loves it when you say that to her."

Giles winced. "No, I don't believe she does." Giles slumped back in his seat. "Perhaps it's unfair to expect any woman to put up with this sort of arrangement. It really isn't fair."

"Well, like you said, she knew what she was getting into." She leaned forwards. "Not that that always helps. It's like me with Angel. I knew it was a mistake, I knew he wasn't right for me, but I didn't care, I just dove in." Buffy looked at Giles. "Maybe Jenny hoped that things would change, that you'd change. Maybe she figured I'd die, I mean, not that she wishes I were dead, or anything, but I'm sure she knows how long the average Slayer lasts."

That thought disturbed Giles, especially having to revisit the idea of Buffy's death. "Well, you aren't going to die, not if I have anything to do with it." His voice was quite ferocious.

Buffy patted his hand. "Sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I know you hate talking about it. Not that I'm crazy about talking about it, either."

"I can't bear the thought of it." Giles' voice was tight and he turned his head away.

Buffy watched him; surprised for some reason at the emotions she could feel pouring off of him. She touched his hand again, lacing her fingers through his, holding on tightly. "I'm sorry." When he still wouldn't look at her she leaned forwards and with her fingers she gently tugged on his face, urging him to make eye contact with her. "I'm on your side on this one, Giles. No dying, I promise."

Giles let out a long sigh and finally looked at Buffy. His eyes were bright and Buffy's eyes misted in response. "You mean so much to me, I really … I can't imagine anything worse." Giles took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Running his hand through his hair he sent Buffy a rueful grin. "I apologize. I didn't mean to get quite so dramatic." He gave Buffy's hand a squeeze, their fingers still joined.

Buffy had to swallow past the lump in her throat. She put her other hand over their joined hands. "I really sort of love you Giles."

Giles put his free hand over hers. "I love you too, Buffy."

Buffy had to dig out her hands to wipe her tears away. "Okay, drama moment over." She let out a shaky laugh. "But as long as I'm all teary, let's not waste it. What's this prophecy you found?"

Giles shook his head. "False alarm. I did a bit more research and discovered it won't come to pass for a few hundred years."

Buffy looked surprised but then switched to happy. "Yay."

Giles grinned. "Actually it was quite amusing. The particular conjugation of the verb the author used …" He looked up as Buffy patted his hand. "Yes?"

"Giles, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I gotta tell you, I think you need to save this amusing anecdote for Willow. Then the two of you can have a hearty chuckle over verb misusage. I think it's gonna be lost on me."

Giles let out a silent laugh. "Perhaps you're right."

"But still, yay, no bad prophecy. That's of the good."

"Yes, it is. I was quite relieved."

"Bad one?"

"Yes, rather bad."

Buffy grimaced. "So, not so good news for the Slayer who's gonna be around then."

"No." Giles glanced at Buffy. "However, you, better than anyone, know that the words of a prophecy seldom tell the entire picture."

"Yeah, I guess I do know that." Buffy reached out and touched his jaw. "Did I ever apologize for that?"

"For what?"

"For hitting you and knocking you out?"

"An apology was hardly necessary, Buffy. You were saving my life."

Buffy frowned at him. "I still can't believe you were gonna go meet him on your own. If I hadn't shown up you were just gonna go, weren't you?"

"Yes, yes I was. I was quite determined"

"And he'd have killed you."

"Probably."

Buffy let out a sigh. "Did Jenny ever say anything to you about what I said?"

"When?"

"After I knocked you out. Did she ever give you a message from me?"

Giles thought for a moment. "No, I don't believe so. Why, did you give her a message for me?"

"Not really. I told her to make something up, something that sounded cool."

Giles' eyebrows rose. "That was very eloquent of you."

Buffy grinned. "I know. It's hard to put into a couple of sentences everything I'd want to say to you, even back then, and sound cool at the same time. Plus I was afraid I'd chicken out if I hung around too long and I didn't want you to wake up."

Giles shook his head. "No fear of that. I'm afraid I had barely regained consciousness when the fighting began. Then I was rather preoccupied, and suddenly, there you were, very much alive." Giles smiled sadly at her. "I wished I'd let you know how I felt when I saw you."

"Tell me now."

"It was as if I were a boy again celebrating Christmas, and I'd just been given the present I'd been waiting for, for the longest time, the one I wanted more than anything. I'd never felt so blessed in all my life."

"That's kind of how I felt when I realized that you were planning to die in my place. Except not as much fun."

Giles smiled at her turn of phrase. "No, not nearly as much fun."

Buffy sat back, looking at him. "They're never gonna understand, are they."

"Who?"

"Jenny and Riley, about us."

"No, I don't think they can."

Buffy nodded and thought for a moment. "That's okay. As long as you understand."

Giles smiled at her. In unspoken agreement they both slid out of the booth and headed for the door.

End of Part 4