Title: Completion
Author: Coast2Coast

Pairing: Buffy/Giles
Rating: FRAO
Setting/Spoilers: Season 4 - Concurrent with the episode 'The I in Team' but AU (see challenge info)
Summary: Buffy's first time.
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all characters belong to Joss Whedon. I am making no money by using them.
Distribution: I'm posting this to WatcherGirls and GilesNaughty. All others please ask.
Feedback: Cheerfully received!

Author's Note: This fic is in response to a challenge from Trish on WatcherGirls and is my first attempt at an NC-17 B/G fic. That's right -- not only did Trish derail my train of thought, she sent it plummeting into a ravine! She is an evil, evil woman but if you like this fic you have her to thank for it. Thanks to Jen and Kristin for the beta; you guys are the best! Happy reading, all.

The Challenge: (I'm paraphrasing) Set in Season 4-6, Buffy never slept with Angel, Parker or Riley and is a virgin. Buffy is dating Riley and wants to lose her virginity but not to him so she goes to Giles. What she didn't expect was Giles making her first time so special and the merry amount of feelings for him that would rise up. Not PWP, Giles and Buffy aren't together at first. Make it kinda sweet, not angsty unless you include Riley and Buffy arguing about the reason Buffy doesn't wanna sleep with 'him'. Buffy and Giles do say they love each other, but make it a couple weeks after the first time thing happens, cause there's always awkwardness after and 'need time to think about whatever'. Someone take this??

"There's a word guys use to describe a girl like you, Buffy."

"Riley..."

"A tease."

"So I've heard," Buffy said, snatching her clothes up off the floor and dressing hurriedly.

"I'm not surprised," Riley watched his girlfriend and realized that in less than a minute she would be fully clothed and, likely, out the door. "Buffy, running off won't help. Don't you think we should talk about this?"

"I told you, Riley," Buffy said, dropping onto a chair to put her shoes on. "I'm just not..."

"Ready," Riley finished for her.

"I... it just doesn't feel..."

"Right."

Buffy glared at him for a moment, then rose and stalked to the door. She laid her hand on the doorknob before she turned to him. "It looks like you can have this conversation all by yourself," she retorted. She slammed the door behind her as she left.

**** **** **** **** **** ****

Buffy jogged across campus towards a nearby wooded area. It was late in the evening, but not yet midnight; there might be a vampire or two lurking about hoping find an easy meal by catching an otherwise occupied couple unawares.

Not that she wanted to run across any 'otherwise occupied' couples. She sighed to herself as she slowed and moved more quietly into the trees. She was sorry she had left Riley unsatisfied. Although they had never 'gone all the way', the few times they had been intimate she had at least participated in his release.

But tonight, instead of taking things slowly to the point where she had always called a halt to his explorations and turned the activities towards his needs, he had rushed on - as though if he could get to a certain point she would... What? Just let him go for it? Well, that hadn't been the case, had it?

Buffy stood at the edge of the woods, slapping her stake against her thigh. No vampires here. And she really felt like killing something. She headed off toward a park, now angry at the Initiative in general as well as Riley in particular. They had been picking off all the easy, unwary demons, necessitating that Buffy hunt more thoroughly for more intelligent, careful and dangerous prey.

Riley Finn. He had seemed perfect. A few years older than she, good looking, friendly, smart and funny. And human. Buffy groaned. [Let's not go there,] she mentally chastised herself.

If he had just been patient, given her time to be ready... No, that wasn't accurate. She *was* ready. She was *beyond* ready. If things got any worse, 'ready' would be a speck on the horizon. She hadn't been truthful when she'd told Riley she wasn't ready. But she *was* telling the truth when she said it didn't feel right. Not with Riley. Not with Angel, either. And certainly not with the few other boys she had dated once or twice.

After an efficient survey of the small park, Buffy plopped down onto the seat of a swing in the playground area. Either a demon would appear and attack her or she could get in more thinking time. At this point she didn't really care which came to pass.

When Faith had come to Sunnydale and spoken so frankly about her... urges, Buffy had been shocked and embarrassed - at first. Over time she had recognized similar feelings in herself and, lately, she felt a need growing in her that was almost overwhelming. The aching emptiness in her body told her quite clearly what she needed. What she couldn't seem to overcome was her mind telling her she wasn't going about getting it in the right way.

"When did I start listening to my brain?" she asked aloud. "Giles will be so..." Giles. At the thought of him something tense uncoiled in her belly. [Giles. Giles can help me.]

She shook her head. "What did I mean by that?" she asked herself.

[Giles can help. He always does.]

"Great, now I'm talking to myself," she groaned. "Oh well, maybe I can enlighten me. Okay, so maybe Giles can help. How? Well, Giles *is* Knowledge Guy. And maybe this isn't a Buffy thing. Maybe it's a Slayer thing."

[Buffy thing. Slayer thing. It doesn't matter. Giles will help.]

"But, if it's a Buffy thing, what can he tell me... Oh! Oh, no. Tell me I'm not thinking what I *think* I'm thinking."

[Giles cares about me. Giles won't hurt me. Giles won't leave me. I can trust Giles.]

"I can trust Giles," Buffy whispered aloud.

Trust.

She thought about Angel. She had loved Angel. At least she thought she had, but she had never been able to trust him. Not entirely. He was a vampire. That was something she had never been able to forget; especially when he touched her. Although they had never spoken of it, she was sure that her inability to let him in completely was the reason he had gone to L.A.

Riley was sweet and attentive and seemed, on the surface, to be the perfect guy for her. He knew about the Slayer thing and was okay with it. He was attracted to her and she to him, but... She sighed again. As confidently as she had defended Riley, and even the Initiative, to Giles she secretly had her doubts about their motives. The more she learned the more she feared they would become estranged, maybe even enemies, if it turned out their objectives were too far removed from hers. No, she couldn't trust him wholly, either.

But, Giles. Giles she *could* trust. Wholly, completely. With her life, with everything. Granted, he wasn't perfect. There had been the Cruciamentum - that had hurt her terribly; but she knew it had hurt him as much as it had her. Then there was that 'experiment' he had tried at the beginning of the school year, telling her to be self- sufficient and that she didn't need a Watcher anymore. That had gone very badly, but he had apologized almost immediately. No, he wasn't perfect - but she could trust him. She could trust him to do what he thought was best for her.

"Okay, so I can trust him. And he won't leave me. He didn't leave when the Council told him to. He hasn't left yet, even though he doesn't have a job anymore. And he won't deliberately hurt me. But does that mean he's the right person to help me with my, uh, problem? I mean, that's not what our relationship is about. I've never even thought about him that way."

[Oh yes you have. And you know it.]

"Oh, shut up," she told herself, jumping off the swing and striding purposefully toward her dormitory. "Why did I have to take psychology? I'm sorry I ever learned about my id."

And now that she had thought about Giles, consciously, in *that* way, she couldn't seem to think of any other way out of her dilemma. Or anything else at all, for that matter.

She entered her dorm room quietly, not wanting to disturb Willow. After changing into her pajamas and climbing into bed, she willed her mind to settle down and allow her the oblivion of sleep.

[I'll go talk to Giles in the morning,] she promised herself. [Even if he can't, or won't, help me directly he'll at least listen to me. And maybe help me think of another way.]

[Assuming he doesn't just grab you by the scruff of your neck and fling you out into the courtyard,] offered the more negative part of her mind.

She groaned and rolled over and finally slept.

**** **** **** **** **** ****

Buffy woke early the next morning after a fitful and unsatisfying night's sleep. As she showered and dressed her nerves began to fret at her. Only her certainty that this situation would only get worse if she didn't take some action spurred her to follow through with the decision she had reached last night. As she eased open the door to leave, Willow's voice mumbled to her from across the room.

"Where ya goin' so early on a Saturday, Buff? I didn't even hear you come in last night."

Buffy turned to see her friend and roommate blinking sleepily at her from her bed. "I was quiet. I didn't want to wake you," she replied.

"Where ya goin'?" Willow repeated.

"I have, uh, something I need to do," Buffy answered lamely. [Darn it! Why did she have to wake up? This is *so* the last thing I need right now.]

"Oooh, big plans with the studly soldier guy? Remember, I need my vicarious smoochies. I'm counting on you," Willow pouted, only half- serious.

"I'll... I'll see what I can do," Buffy gulped. "Gotta go. See ya," she finished before darting out the door and closing it swiftly behind her.

"What's up with her?" Willow wondered aloud, then shrugged and rose to start her day.

**** **** **** **** **** ****

A short while later, Buffy found herself standing outside the door to Giles' flat. She shifted from foot to foot and tried to muster the courage she needed to knock. [Come on, chicken. If you can't even knock on his door how are you going to...] Before her inner voice could go on and remind her of the more difficult task that lay ahead, she raised the door knocker and dropped it. The metallic 'thunk' it made caused her to jump.

The door swung open a moment later, not giving her the opportunity to second guess herself and bolt for the street. Giles stood before her dressed in sweatpants and a white T-shirt, holding a pair of trainers and some socks in one hand.

"Buffy," he said with a smile. "This is a surprise." He stepped back to allow her room to enter and closed the door behind her. "I was just about to go for a run. Would you like to join me?"

Giles watched her move to a point between the entryway and the living room. She turned and looked him up and down in a manner Giles had never seen her use on him before. He cocked his head to the side and considered the fact that she had yet to speak a word to him. "Buffy, are you all right?"

"Yes, well, yes I'm... fine. I mean, I'm not hurt or anything," she stammered. Before Giles could say she might not be hurt, but didn't seem herself, she hurried on. "I need to... talk to you about something. Do you mind? I mean, is that okay?"

"Of course I don't mind. I told you I'm here for you if you need me, Buffy," he reached out and squeezed her shoulder. "Would you like some tea? Juice?"

Buffy smiled at both his reassurance and the familiarity of the question he unfailingly asked any guest in his home within moments of their arrival. "I'd really like some juice. Thanks."

Giles set his shoes and socks down on one of the stools by the counter and continued into the kitchen. "Have a seat," he told Buffy. "I'll be right back."

Buffy sat down on the couch and raised her voice slightly. "Sorry I interrupted your run."

"As I hadn't left yet, you didn't interrupt it. One good thing about being a gentleman of leisure is that one may adjust one's schedule at will," he replied over the sounds of him moving around the kitchen.

Giles quickly put a glass of orange juice and a cup of tea on a tray. He was gratified to see their relationship continued to rebound in a healthy way after a few false steps in the past few months had caused a rift between them. With his most recent encounter with Ethan Rayne providing an impetus, he and Buffy had cleared the air somewhat. Now she had come to him, unbidden, to talk.

He carried the tray out into the living room and set it down on the coffee table, then seated himself next to Buffy and lifted his cup of tea. "So," he began. "What brings you to my door so early on a Saturday morning?"

Buffy took a sip of her juice, fingered the glass nervously then set it back down. She turned, tucking one leg under the other so she sat sideways on the couch facing him. "I've gone over and over this in my head, Giles, and I can't think of a subtle way to approach this so I'm just gonna come right out and say it."

Giles nodded slightly, giving her his full attention. Buffy found herself momentarily distracted by the sight of his eyes, unobstructed by glasses which she supposed he had left off in anticipation of his run. She shook off her bemusement and took a deep breath to fortify herself.

"I want to have sex," she stated firmly.

"I beg your pardon?" he rasped.

"I want to have sex," Buffy repeated.

"I see," Giles replied. He set his cup down and cleared his throat before turning back to Buffy. "Don't you, ah, think you should be discussing this with, um, Riley?" He reached up to remove his glasses and was momentarily nonplussed to find them missing.

Buffy smiled inwardly at his consternation and his inability to use his normal method of dealing with an uncomfortable situation. "No, I really don't think so. The only thing I had to say to him on the subject is the fact that it isn't... right. For me. With him, I mean. It's going to be awhile, if ever, before I talk to him about it again."

"Ah," Giles managed.

"Anyway," Buffy continued, blowing out a breath. "I want... I need to have sex. And I want it to be with you."

Giles simply stared at her. She stared back, waiting for him to say something. After a while she started to get worried. "Giles? Uh, Giles? Are you still in there?" she asked waving her hand in front of his face.

Giles blinked and nodded fractionally. "Uh, yes. I'm sorry, I don't believe I heard you correctly..."

"I said I want to have sex with you."

"M... me?" Giles voice quavered.

Buffy rose and began to pace back and forth in front of the fireplace. Giles sat motionless -- except for his eyes, which tracked her motion ceaselessly.

"See, I've been thinking about this a lot and I realized that, as badly as I *need* to have sex I can't just do it with anybody. It has to be someone I trust, *really* trust. At least for the first time. I don't know if that will change, you know, after." She stopped and turned to meet Giles' eyes.

Giles brain froze up on him again. "Excuse me. F... first t... time?" he stuttered. "You mean to say you're... you're a..."

"Virgin. Yes, I'm a virgin," Buffy noticed Giles was now doing a very good impression of a goldfish. "Are you having a problem with this concept, Giles?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

"*No*, ah, no. I thought, that is to say, I presumed you and Angel had..." he stopped again.

Buffy snorted. "Right. I had sex with a vampire and you didn't know about it."

"I thought perhaps you were simply, ah, discreet," Giles replied.

"Uh, thanks. I think," Buffy said, not sure how to interpret that comment. "But, no, I never had sex with Angel." She returned to her previous position on the couch. "So, I guess you have questions, then?" Buffy asked.

Giles nodded. "Quite a few, actually. I find the most pressing to be: Why me?"

Buffy was prepared for this, having thought about it since her epiphany the previous evening. She ticked the reasons off on her fingers as she replied. "We know each other probably better than anyone else does. We care about each other. We're both healthy adults and free agents," at this she raised one eyebrow in question - not being completely sure that Olivia was permanently out of the picture. Giles nodded for her to go on. "And, most importantly, I trust you." She sat back and waited for him to respond.

Giles cleared his throat. "As... intriguing... as I find your reasoning I couldn't help but notice a glaring omission from your list. In the case of, ah, relations such as you are suggesting there is usually at least a modicum of mutual attraction."

"You don't find me attractive?" She winced slightly at the whine that had crept into her voice.

Giles pinched the bridge of his nose. "What I meant to say is that I was never given to understand that you found *me* attractive. Quite the opposite, in fact. Leaving aside more recent events, I seem to recall a 'Raise your hand if ewww' comment?"

Buffy blushed, quite prettily Giles thought. "Uh, yeah - that." She chewed her lip and wondered how to get around this. She decided that it was only fair that she be honest; it was what she would want from him. "A couple of days before Faith showed up and started drooling over you, I had this dream - a really *good* dream, and it wigged me out. I spent a lot of time over the next few days telling myself 'No, Buffy' and 'Bad Slayer' every time I thought about it. Which was a lot. And then Faith comes along and..." she trailed off.

Giles managed to repress the grin that threatened to spread across his face. [Just as well I didn't know about *that*. She was, what, seventeen at the time?]. This little piece of information also brought another perspective to her extreme reaction on finding Olivia in his flat. In his shirt. And him in his robe. "I see," he replied. "Thank you for the clarification."

Buffy fidgeted, hoping he wouldn't bring up the whole Olivia thing. She really, *really* didn't want to rehash that fiasco. She was relieved when he took another tack.

"It seems to me you expressed some, ah, urgency about the situation, which I don't quite understand," he said.

Buffy sighed. "It *is* urgent, Giles. I don't know if I can explain it, but I can't seem to concentrate any more. I get really cranky for almost no reason. I'm having more and more trouble with the slaying. I'm almost... clumsy. And when I miss a kill it's like I'm all, I don't know, on fire inside. But empty, too. My body is telling me... I know what I need, but until last night I couldn't figure out how to go about getting it."

"Until you thought about me," Giles guessed.

"Yeah," Buffy admitted. "And once I did, I couldn't think about anything else."

Giles nodded slowly, considering the hopeful, open look she was giving him. He was surprised it hadn't occurred to him before that this moment might inevitably come. A Slayer's libido was customarily very robust indeed. Hence his assumption that she had found a way to cope, without informing or involving her Watcher. "I assume you have attempted other, er, remedies to alleviate your, um, distress?"

"Yeah, I have. It's just not enough anymore, Giles," she insisted, desperation creeping into her voice. "I don't know what else to do."

So. She needed something he could easily provide. Too easily, perhaps. But the ramifications of this course of action? He hesitated to even consider them. If he refused, it would damage their relationship; perhaps beyond repair. In any case, he had no desire to refuse her and no intention of doing so. He would allow an opening, but she must set the rules and the pace.

"This dream you mentioned. It was 'good' I believe you said?" he inquired.

Buffy's eyes went wide and she swallowed noticeably. "It was wicked good," she agreed.

"Tell me," Giles almost whispered, leaning forward a little.

"I... we were training and I knocked you to the floor. I bent over to give you a hand up but instead I knelt down and started touching you," she told him.

"How?" Giles asked. "Show me."

Buffy leaned forward and trailed her fingertips down the side of his face until she cupped his cheek in her palm. She slid her thumb slowly back and forth along his lips twice then turned her hand over to stroke his cheek with the backs of her fingers.

Giles became aware of the friction generated by his day's growth of beard. "I'm sorry, Buffy," he said, moving away a little. "I meant to shave when I showered after my run." Damn it! He had forgotten he wasn't exactly his usual fastidious self.

Buffy moved forward to make up for the distance he had retreated. "It's nice. I kinda like it," she said, stroking his cheek again.

"Still, I'm not exactly, well, fresh," Giles apologized. "I haven't showered since yesterday afternoon."

"And you've been, what, mucking out stables since then?" Buffy asked with a grin.

Giles snorted, thinking of his activities of the last eighteen hours which consisted of reading, preparing and eating dinner and sleeping. "Even so..."

Buffy leaned forward and licked the base of his throat, just above the neck of his T-shirt, causing Giles to gasp. Then she nuzzled behind his ear before placing her face in the middle of his chest and inhaling deeply. She had detected just a ghost of the cologne he had applied to his neck yesterday. Through the thin cotton of his T-shirt she had smelled a hint of his soap but mostly the scent that was purely and uniquely his. It wasn't strong enough to be unpleasant, but vivid enough to send a thrill of arousal through her.

Buffy sat back and smiled at him. "You smell good," she stated confidently. "Forget about it."

"If you say so," he offered hesitantly.

"I do." Buffy trailed her hands down his shirt until she reached the hem then tucked her hands under the shirt and slid them up over his stomach and around his ribs. "In my dream you weren't wearing a shirt."

Giles lifted his arms and allowed her to shove the garment up over his head where he grasped it and tossed it onto the floor behind them.

"Then I helped you up," Buffy told him, grasping his hands in hers and bringing him with her as she rose to her feet. "And you took my shirt off."

Giles reached out and fingered the hem of her cotton tank top briefly before lifting it upward. She mimicked his earlier action by raising her arms in the air until he had cleared her hands and dropped the top to the floor. Buffy popped open the front closure of her bra and lowered her hands while shrugging her shoulders, allowing the silky, white undergarment to slide off her arms to land behind her.

The sight of her smooth, pale skin and the rounded globes of her bosom adorned by pert, pink nipples caused Giles heart rate to accelerate alarmingly. He suddenly realized they were standing, half- naked, in clear view of the small, but un-curtained, window set in the wall next to the front door. "I think we should go upstairs," he suggested.