A Big Piece of Garbage (Ep. 1.08)
Next, New New York in crisis. Morbo?
Thanks, human female. Puny Earthlings were shocked today to learn that a ball of garbage will destroy their pathetic city of New New York.
Linda: All in all, this is one day Mittens the Kitten won't soon forget.
Morbo: Kittens give Morbo gas. In lighter news, the city of New New York is doomed. Blame rests with known human Professor Hubert Farnsworth and his tiny, inferior brain.
A Head in the Polls (Ep. 2.03)
Linda: And so with two weeks left in the campaign, the question on everyone's mind is: Who will be the next President of Earth, Jack Johnson or bitter rival John Jackson? Two terrific candidates, huh, Morbo?
Morbo: All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo.
Morbo: Morbo will now announce tonight's candidates: puny human number one, puny human number two, and Morbo's good friend Richard Nixon.
Nixon: Hello, Morbo. How's the family?
Morbo: Belligerent and numerous.
Morbo: Morbo demands an answer to the following question: if you saw delicious candy in the hands of a small child, would you seize and consume it?
Morbo: Morbo congratulates our gargantuan, cyborg President. May death come quickly to his enemies.
Xmas Story (Ep. 2.04)
Linda: The holiday season is a time of celebration for most, but it is also a time to remember the tragic suffering of the less fortunate.
Morbo: Earthlings do not yet know the meaning of suffering. Mua-ha-ha!
Mother's Day (Ep. 2.14)
Linda: And in sports, Yankees fifth-blurnsman William Wu is out with an injured knee.
Morbo: So, humans have easily injured knees. My race will find this information very useful indeed. Mua-ha-ha!
Morbo: ...and that's why the third-graders at P.S. 139 are Morbo's "Vermin of the Week".
Linda: In actual news, the human race was doomed to extinction today...
Amazon Women In The Mood (Ep. 3.01)
Morbo: [singing] "A-won't you take me to Funkytown?"
A Tale of Two Santas (Ep. 3.03)
Linda: In what has become a winter tradition, members of the Zarlon 7 "Polar Bear Club" today took the plunge into a river of liquid ammonia.
Morbo: There were no survivors.
The Day the Earth Stood Stupid (Ep. 3.07)
Morbo: Morbo can't understand his teleprompter. He forgot how you say that letter that looks like a man with a hat.
Linda: It's a 't'. It goes "tuh".
Morbo: Hello, little man. I will destroy you!!
Fry: Man, even the news monster is acting strange.
The Cyber House Rules (Ep. 3.09)
Morbo: So I gave the cookies you made to Fawn and the kids, and they couldn't believe it. They were delicious. But I digress... Tremble, puny Earthlings! One day my race will destroy you all!
The 30% Iron Chef (Ep. 3.22)
Morbo: Welcome back. Our next guest has been teaching the world to cook for over twenty years. But apparently my wife hasn't been listening. [studio laughter] I WILL DESTROY HER!! And now, extend a formulaic greeting to Master Chef Elzar. So, Elzar, what will you be cooking for Morbo to devour with his mighty jaws?
Elzar: Morbo, I'm gonna whip you up a nice, unnameable horror from beyond... with mango chutney.
Morbo: Pathetic humans, prepare to write down the recipe!!
Morbo: Scrumptious. Morbo will store this in his sac for future digestion.
Morbo: [weeping openly] The challenger's ugly food has shown us that even hideous things can be sweet on the inside.
A Taste of Freedom (Ep. 4.03)
Zapp: [throwing beads a la Mardi Gras] Happy Freedom Day, ladies! Come on, let loose and show me something. Anything. Seriously, I'd take an armpit. Oh, yeah! Thank you, Linda!
Linda: You're welcome! Okay, Morbo. Now it's your turn.
Morbo: If that is your Freedom Day wish...
[Morbo lifts his shirt, and Linda screams in terror]
Bender Should Not Be Allowed On TV (Ep. 4.06)
Morbo: Welcome to "Entertainment and Earth Invasion Tonite". Across the galaxy, my people are completing the mighty space fleet that will exterminate the human race! But first, this news from Tinseltown...
Crimes of the Hot (Ep. 4.08)
Linda: With Haley's Comet out of ice, Earth is experiencing the devastating effects of sudden, intense global warming.
Morbo: Morbo is pleased but sticky.
Spanish Fry (4.17)
Linda: Alien abductions. Until now, a harmless nuissance, but recently they've taken on a sinister dimension as unsuspecting victims are returned without noses.
Fry: Like me!
Morbo: The culprits, shameless poachers hunting humans without a permit.
Linda: The valuable nose or "human horn" fetches a high price on alien worlds as an aphrodisiac.
Fry: My nose is an aphrodisiac? I'm gonna drop a barf!
Morbo: Demand for human horn is great, due in part to titilating scenes from depraved alien TV programs too filthy for Earth broadcast. Let's watch.
[extraterrestrial porn ensues...]
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